how did your dcs cope with this?
i'm imagining that if they're fairly young that they'll view it as having two xmas'

mine are being picked up by dad on Xmas morning to drive back to his for lunch (about 2 hours) that means at least we get Xmas eve for a party and Xmas morning together. then I drive 2 hours to see my family for lunch. did the same last year except he came to see the kids in the morning then they went with me. Not sure how much longer it will work out as he has a new family

well have told exh that he can have them from teatime on xmas day
he just nodded and accepted it,surprisingly!
hoping everybody sorts out their own arrangements soon
and amicably if at all poss.
and yes leslaki that applies to you too

Fairly standard holiday contact, I'd have thought, about half the school hols?

floatyjosmum thats a long time that your exp has been given - what is his usual contact, and does he live far from the child's home? - just interested to work out my own situations possible outcomes. thanks x

weve just been thru the court system - final hearing being in sept and exp has been given 9:30 boxing day till half 4 on the 2nd jan.

Hi everyone. We have a breakthrough! She has agreed to allow him to see the children for a few hours on christmas day.

She has told the children as well so really really hoping she wont break her word.

I think she realised that if this went to court she would end up alot worse off.

My partner may still have to go down that route if she renages on this or wont be fair in respect of the other accesses.

Thank you for all your help and advice. It has been invaluable. I hope all your own christmas arrangements work out well.

onadietcokebreak sorry to hear things are so tough at the moment sounds like your partner just wants to sort things out for the best with regard to the children and is being prevented from doing so. My heart goes out to him and you.

I had a brief split from my partner last year (mercifully we resolved things and things are better then ever) and I am ashamed to admit that I actually empathise with your partners ex and all others that use access to children to make life difficult for thir exs.

The difference is that although during my darker moments I was tempted to do it cause I wanted to hurt him, I rose above those feelings and did what comes naturally - the best thing for DS- that is, to do what I could to facilitate a loving relationship with his daddy.

Maybe coming from a divorced background I had the foresight to see how vitally important it was to rise above the 'red mist' and put my son first and that all those temptations to keep him to myself and block access were coming from a selfish place. Our troubles were between the two of us, and had to stop there, they were nothing to do with our son.

I really hope your partner manages to sort things out. Remember that often things improve over time so even though it seems like he has a huge mountain to climb, hopefully in a few years things will have calmed down and access arrangements will be in place.

Then you definitely can't afford a sol! They do local meetings which are free, I think. You need a couple of £100 for the initial court fee but you can get all the forms etc from the Internet. You need a plan of action or DH will get more and more depressed.

Yes we have had a quick look but cant afford the fee to join up yet. Hopefully in the new year