i cant do this anymore

[Titania]

im scared. im lonely. ds2 is screaming and ive got tonsilitis. i have to look after the kids but not got the strength to look after myself let alone them. ive got ice on my eyes they are so sore from all the crying. ive still got so much to do. i cant do it all. the place is so messy. i just want someone to give me a cuddle. im trying ao hard not to text or ring him. i cant think straight....

[starlover]

Hey... i'm not going to tell you that it's all ok, when it obviously isn't... but i am going to point some things out...

You ARE coping, and you are doing incredibly well in the circumstances.

It doesn;'t matter at all if your house is a mess... the most important thing is getting yourself feeling better, and making sure kids are clothed and fed.

You feel awful, and that is understandable... but things WILL get better. Please don't underestimate yourself. You do have the strength, you're proving that right now.

On a more practical note... is there anyone who can help you out? family/friends?

[tigermoth]

titania, we haven't talked much and I am not around long now, but I thought you were having your internet access ended on the 24th? did you decide to keep online after all?

[Titania]

i downgraded so i cant spend as much time online. trying to keep it to just evenings now.

[tammybear]

titania, i really feel for you hun. but you're doing well. you havent texted him or have rung him. it doesn't matter if the place is a mess. Crying isn't a bad thing. It allows you to feel your emotion, and you will get to the point where you will stop crying. Im sure you will still miss him, I still miss my xdp but I am now at a point where I can think about him and not be upset, and you will get there one day too. just take one step at a time. xxx

[Titania]

im going to bed now. I feel awful. i have barely got the stength to even cry now....night x x

[oops]

Message withdrawn

[Titania]

am supposed to be seeing an old school freind this morning but i am really not up to it. Its just another thing to do TBH. My head hurts and my eyes are so sore. Why can't this just be easy?! or at least not hurt so much....

[tammybear]

at the moment titania it will feel like you're always been hurting but you WILL get to a point where it will stop. i know you probably dont feel like doing much and probably feel like you dont have a lot of energy as ive been through that too. could she not have come around to yours? it may help if you make a list of things that are good reasons why you are better off on your own. my friend did this and on her list were little things like having a big double bed to herself and knowing she'd come downstairs to exactly how she left it rather than waking up and finding it a mess