have already posted this under behaviour but someone suggested putting it under lone parents so im having a go.
ds1 is 6. i am no longer with his father but we have been thru court and he has an order allowing him to have a lot of contact (i agreed to this at the time) but the kids hardly ever see him, they always spend the time with his parents who spoil them rotten and are constantly telling them nasty things about me and dp, even getting ds1 to lie to the doctor about us abusing him (wasnt beleived). ds1s behaviour has been getting steadily worse and i have decided we need to get contact reduced so that ball is already rolling. i cant stop contact because the order allows his grandparents to collect the kids and if i say that xp isnt there so i want them back, his parents will call him to get him to turn up and make it legit.
the problem is that his behaviour just gets worse and worse. he says he is choosing to behave badly. everytime we punish him he says he doesnt care because he will be seeing his grandmother soon and he can do what he likes there. he has been sent home from school a number of times and last week we decided to try keeping him at home for half of the day to see if it settles him. last week was great, them we had a lovely weekend until about 3pm yesterday when he turned into a horror for no reason whatsoever. he has been behaving badly since and i am at the end of my tether. i have given him the choice of behaving and coming in the living room with me and ds3 to do his school work or misbehaving and he will have to stay on the stairs. he has been on the stairs for about an hour now and he says he wants to stay there.
he can be so lovely at times, but when he wants to be bad he is rude, violent, obnoxious, and everything i say is always answered by 'its ok, grandma will let me do what i like when i see her'.
i have no idea how to help him. we have been to the gp who refered him to the behaviour problem centre, but they bounced the referal back to gp saying they can only take emergency cases (ie life threatening). they suggested another centre who told me they cant help, he is too old, try his school nurse. tried calling her, was told she is out but will call me back sometime this week!!
i dont know what to do. i have tried reading books but none of them address my situation. they all say to be consistent but that is the one thing i cant do - i am seen as the wicked witch and his granparents let him run riot. i have tried cutting out additives but they wont do it so twice a week he is pumped full of crap again and whatever i do is undone.
i suspect there is no one out there in this exact situation but if anyone has any words of wisdom i would be so grateful
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6 yr old ds is making life hell, dont know how to help
15 replies
debs26 · 16/05/2005 11:24
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