I was very ill myself a fews weeks ago, off work for over a week, and very run down. Glad to have had half term booked off and have been very tired and emotional for a few weeks since.
Having no-one to call on was the worst, not even anyone to ask to take my son to or from school for me. One of the other mum's at school stopped me and asked if I was ok near the end of the first week when i was picking my son up from school, aparently I looked dreadful. She has spoken to me a couple of times before and always says she'll call me, but never has. She's now a single mother with 4 children to care for. She always says she is busy or the kids are away when i have invited her to the play centre or lone parent group so I thought she wans't interested. Anyhow, I told her I hadn't been well, felt dreadful, had noone to call on and hadn't even been well enouigh to get in the car to go shopping so hadn't had any food the last few days aoart from toast out of the freezer. I also voiced a lot of feelings i would normally be too proud to admit to, like wondering why the hell i keep doing all this and what was the point of life when i have no social life and no friends etc.
It was actually good to be able to say what was on my mind, and i was beyond caring at that point. Bless her she came round with a box of food for us the next day and told me to call her any time i needed help with school pick up or drop off.
It gave me the courage to call on a friend I haven't spoken to in ages for help, and then my neighbour came by and asked if i was ok coz she had noticed i had not been out of the house in over a week as my car had been parked outside. She offered to get us milk and bread. I then text my sister saying i had been ill so hadn't been able to get her a present, and she then offered to come and have my son for a couple of days in half term.
The house is dire, i've not managed to put away all the xmas stuff yet, my son keeps getting more and more stuff out, and it's all i can manage to keep up with the washing and washing up/cooking.
I too am a very proud person, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and ask for the help when you really need it. I am much better now, but still get tired easily and have had to take additional days of work because i wasn't up to it.
I have called on a couple of people who have offered help in the past to have my son for me so i can get a break. Mostly i have slept when he's not been here and have been able to rest without feeling guilty that i am neglecting him or end up shouting at him for being noisy when he is really only climbing the walls with boredom.
Now when people say can they help i don't think well they don't really mean it, i say yes. I joined a lone parent group in the summer but haven't been able to join in many of the activities unless children are also invited. One of the members was having a house warming this weekend but i have no money for a babysitter so couldn't go. She has texted to say how about we come over for a Dvd watching evening in the week instead. Normally i'd make some excuse, but this time i'm going to say yes even though i don't know her very well. How am i going to make friends and get support if i'm not willing to admit i need it. Ok it'll be a while before the house is in a state where i can invite guests back, but when i can get it to a decent state i intend to invite a few people over here for a similar evening. If everyone brings what they want to drink and a plate of nibbles it won't cost me too much and hopefully i'll get some new friends and some return invites out of it.
In some ways being ill like this has been a good thing for me. It's made me realise you can ask for help. I would now say take any help offered, and don't be afraid to ask for it when you need it too.
Hope you're feeling better soon
Gilly