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Can things really be Civil?

5 replies

Jane1979 · 05/02/2008 08:28

Hi everyone
Me and my partner split up over 5 weeks ago, so things are pretty new, there was no major drama, we have just been drifting apart for a long long time and i was sick of coming 2nd best to the pub, football etc etc. Me and my ds are staying in the family home, with xp paying half the mortgage. At the min we have been getting on fine he see's ds at the house around 3 or 4 times a week, while i go out shopping ot to the gym, and we have even been out for lunch one day, i've spelled it out to him that we will never get back together, and he seems ro accept it, but i'm just dreading things turning bitter. Can things ever be civil, or am i dreaming???
ps. one ds aged 2

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Tinkerbel6 · 05/02/2008 10:57

There is no reason why things shouldnt be amicable between yourself, it looks good so far so be positive, not everyone is ripping the sh1t out of their ex's, well the odd few

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Hassled · 05/02/2008 11:06

It definately can be civil - maybe not after only a few weeks, but you loved and liked your ex enough once to have a child together and unless there has been some really awful stuff going on (and you say it's more of a drifting apart), then I don't think that initial friendship needs to just go. And with a 2 year old, you have another 16 years of school concerts, parents' evenings, sporting events etc etc to get through - it's so much easier if you can do that under friendly terms.
My ex has been an ex for 13 years, and after the initial bitterness we have become very good friends and I really value our relationship. We see each other (by choice) at least once a week, and he will be the guardian of my subsequenrt DCs should anything happen to DH & I.

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WiiMii · 05/02/2008 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostdad · 05/02/2008 11:53

Know what you mean WiiMii!

`Amicable' to my (now ex) FIL meant him calling 999 and telling the police that I was trying to abduct my son when I said it may be nice for him to go for a walk in his pushchair on a warm spring day.

For the first time in my life was I was threatened with arrest. While I was sitting in a cafe, having waited for them to turn up.

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Jane1979 · 05/02/2008 13:11

Thanks for all the advice, it's nice to know people are going through, and have been through the same sort of things, before i logged onto mumsnet, i thought that i was the only single parent in the whole word and people would turn there noses up at me for being on my own, now i know different. Its early days for me and i'm coping quite well, i have my bad days, but i have to remember there was a lot more bad days when we were together!!!!