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The last straw...I officially hate my STBE H

4 replies

greeneyedgirl · 02/02/2008 13:51

I can't take his crap anymore and REALLY balled him out over the phone. Am thinking this is the end of our "amicable" relationship, but i just can't grit my teeth any longer.

He contacted me to tell me that it was MY fault that he is paying so much to his solicitor for the divorce because I keep changing circumstances (i.e was working last yr, got fired, then unemployed, then I had to temp over Christmas so I could pay for DD's pressies etc, job-hunting again). He says that if the divorce takes much longer and ezspecially if my circumstances "change" again (so i guess i better o get a job then) he will not continue with it. He also reckons that he wants to claim from any "spare" money I may have for his solicitors bills. I live with my parents and have a little bit of cash, but i am using this to live on whilst I find a job!

The thing is, and I confronted him with it, he has borrowed TWICE the amount he can afford (apparently he had no choice)! He has a new, designer flat that cost LOADS. He says he bought it so DD could have a room, but she now sleeps in his bed as he has lodgers to pay for the mortgage. He went on a luxury 3 week holiday to Cuba last yr AND stopped maintenance payments from June-Nov, then begged me for money cos he was broke (I gave him £500). He says that he will eventually grow resentful of me as I am costing him so much money, so i lost it and told him NEVER to contact me again about the divorce which he took very badly.

He does not like me that much as he wanted us to get back together over the new year and I said no. He sent me loads of insulting texts, but still I let him get away with it. But now i can't take it anymore, I have tried so hard to be nice to him for DD, but I HATE him and want no further contact with him. He always manipulates things that have happened and tries to turn it all round to be my fault. Please tell me I am not going to ruin my DD's life because I don't have the patience of a saint.

Very, very upset!

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shelleylou · 02/02/2008 14:36

Try not to worry about it hunni. See if your parents will hand over your DD, ive just got my mum to do this for me as was fed up of hassle my ds dad was giving me final straw was his mum havin ago lol. I am having very little contact with my ex and the way i see it its better that way than wen he picks up son me gettin upset etc and ds thinking that wen i go see daddy mummy gets upset so i wont. hes only young but im doing it ow for the long run. HTH all the best.

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Tinkerbel6 · 03/02/2008 11:43

what has your job circumstances got to do with your divorce, is it a finacial thing as surely you would get legal aid ? if he wants to grow resentful then tell him go ahead, you dont have to keep things amicable and you dont even need to speak on a handover if it becomes that bad, if he mucks around with your maintenance then go straight to the csa, chin up

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greeneyedgirl · 03/02/2008 14:06

Yes, it is to do with the legal aid. Because the parameters have changed recently the courts require even MORE info regarding any work you have done, hence why my "changing" circs have caused a slight slow up as I have to hand in more paperwork to my solicitor (which I will do on Monday). I was going to say why are men such arses, but have a new boyf who is lovely, so let me say, why are exes such bloody arses????

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shelleylou · 03/02/2008 22:09

I cant argue with ex's being arseholes. Im sure ull get there just ignore him as much as possible, i know its not easy but worth a try.

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