All I ever seem to do is whinge.......

[ScruffyTeddy]

Im fed up of whinging...and thank you to anyone who bothers to read this.

Cant seem to shake this feeling off. I hate my job, I got promoted to something I didn't want to do and its stress stress stress with no importance. If I was up for a career it would be worth it but im not. I just need the money.

I do nothing. I have energy for nothing. Every week is the same. Every morning I wake up knackered. I go to work and its one pile of shit after another. I cant wait to get home. I get home, im too tired to do anything. I dont enjoy being with the kids, I want to but im too tired.

Then its work again. At the weekend I do nothing. I shop and I clean and feel tired. Its been this way for 9 years or so. I cant even be bothered with a bf, the last one gave me grief because I was always so busy, or too tired and he thought I was up to something. I cant even be bothered with any kind of relationship anymore.

Every night I go to bed earlier than the last because I am so unhappy. What a pathetic existence.

I feel like every day is a waste of life and yet it rolls on and on and on...with nothing to look forward to.

[pirategirl]

sorry you feel so down scruffy.

it is ok to see it as it is. Have a rant then maybe you will feel a bit better?

I don't want to dismiss anything you have said, yet i think this time of year is the worst?

The job your doing at work, must seem veery pointless, well good for you tho, working and being a single mum. No wonder you are totally knackred.

Maybe its time to try and make little changes, for yourself? I am not sure what as i am single, and my own worst enemy this time of yr, but just talking here might help?

Everyone I know seems totally totally worn out atm. Its grey,. its dark, and v glum, esp when you are on your own in the evenings.

Ihave started going to sleep when my dd does cos i feel so lonely in the evenings, thats sad isn't it!

[brightwell]

Sounds like depression to me, might be worth seeing your GP. Is there any way you can get youreslf some "me time"? I find it's always good for recharging batteries, even if it's a bath, candles, a glass of wine and an early night.

[runkid]

Scruffyted god i really understand what you mean i feel exactly the same just going through the motions and wandering what lifes about. i just started a thread in am i being unreasonable should have put it here. I think maybe we are just bored and need to have some fun maybe i dont no

[ScruffyTeddy]

I dont get "me" time. I am too tired even for "me" time when kids are in bed. All I want to do is sleep. I dont want to get up for work in a morning. Im in an office on my own, my boss is always out. I speak to hardly anyone in a day, apart from problems with customers. Only me in my department.

How can I be lonely all day? But I am.

I cant do my job in my contracted 30 hours, am usually there much longer. I dont get a dinner break, or any official break.

There's pressure all the time.

I am really considering giving up this job...and I know from harsh experience that it wont be easy to get another one. But maybe benefit is better than this. I cant afford to live on benefit but at least I wouldn't be a zombie most of the time.

Just in court probably!

[runkid]

I feel like that to i have a stressful job and i to im thinking of quitting but not before i have something else infact i thought i might like to go work in a supermarket no stress and lots of people. I tell you we need to start enjoying life get our energy back and not just be mum but be us too

[pirategirl]

you don't see anyone all day tho, if u are on your own in an office, its not stimualating for you, but hard work so there sem to be little benefits apart fromthe money.
no wonder you are doing a groundhog day. If you just leave youcan't getbens for w while, i dont think.

Yet if you could afford to leave, then maybe thats what you need to do, or find something else, or go part time in something else. Somewhere where you see people at least??

[runkid]

Quite frankly im bored with my life and all its troubles i want to change things but everything seems to much trouble right now

[ScruffyTeddy]

I agree. When I started there I was just part time admin which was great but I was sort of forced into this job and I knew I wouldn't be able to cope.

I long for a job where I could just do my stuff, come home and be done with it.

I would happily clean anyone's lav...with gusto. If I could go home stress free.

[ScruffyTeddy]

I cant afford to leave. Jobs arent easy to come by here, especially when you've one child in primary, one at nursery and dont drive. The bus journeys would take hours and no company is going to be that flexible.

It was pure luck and a flexible boss that allowed me to get this job a couple years ago when I was just a simple part timer.

I cant see myself getting another job so easily...and I really dont want to live off benefit, cant afford to..but is this life really worth it?

[runkid]

It sounds to me like you should change your job
and maybe everything else will fall into place.
Do you have friends and family who can help relieve the load

[ScruffyTeddy]

No not really.

[runkid]

thats alot like me but surely we are entitled to be happy dont you think

[runkid]

Could you not go back part time?

[bluebell1]

Hi scruffyteddy just wanted to let you know i feel the same.I hate my job,my ds2 hardly sleeps so im constantly tired and even if i wanted a boyfriend i wouldnt get one cos even i do my head in with my moodiness.I think you should try looking for a new job maybe one with less hours if you dont want to go on benefits you still get quite good tax credits working sixteen hours for example.

[1066andallthat]

Can you make the job more bearable? Any chance you can have the radio on? Would your boss look again at your hours - the actual ones you are doing - and consider getting someone else in, as well as you? Or giving you a pay rise, so you could get a cleaner? Do you do your shop on-line? Are there any ways you can make life a bit easier? Do your DC sleep through? Are you doing any exercise? I know it sounds mad and I never feel like doing it, but having been for a jog - I am a new woman.
Take care - be kind to yourself, totally agree with the bath, glass of wine ideas.

[Scramble]

Your job sounds like it is really bringing you down. How do you travel home from work? Perhaps there is a way you can mentaly make a distinction from work to home so you can switch off from it when you get it.

If it is an office job there is no way you should be so tired when you get home, it is obviously draining you. Have a look at your diet and excercise, might sound like too much effort right now but a bit of exertion perhaps witht eh kids could help re-energise you a bit. All the old chesnuts like drink lots of water and get all the veggies etc you need too.

You really sound like you need to stop and take stock of your lifestyle, the thing about "me time" is that it is not just you that benefits from it the kids will too.

You could start with little things like a kick around in the park/ run around the garden/ dig over the flower bed etc with the kids in the evenings. And how about claiming back the weekends, Ok you might have to do the shopping them but perhaps you could schedule in a family activity like bowling, arts and crafts whatever. Once you get on top of things you can do a little cleaning/ laundry each evening so you don't have it all to do at the weekend.

You sound like you might be stuck with that job for at least a little while, but don't give up on the idea of another job. Keep looking at what else is out there and within the company you are in, you never know what else there might be.

Do try and smile even when it doesn't come naturally, its hard to be positive I know but try to see the little things that are good, positive or could still make you smile, even if it is just sticking a CD on and dancing like a mad woman for 10 mins, let go for even just a short time.

Sorry I didn't mean to go on so much .

[AMAZINWOMAN]

i could have written your post scruffyteddy, as I feel the same. I have taken a few days off work because I just need to do absolutly nothing.

in my job i have to put a face on and help people!! its like being a mum at work-and this week i cant do it

i also need a new job as i know my job is stressful-but i am also very, very lucky to have this job as it fits in with kids. But it drains me, as I dont really enjoy it. It barely pays the bills.

I have seriously been considering jacking the job in, and doing courses-just stuff for me. as there are loads of things i want to do-but as i am at home or in work i cant do anything for me. Even a bath-i dont get peace as my kids are always awake and shout through the door.

its sad that the only way i get to recharge my batteries is to phone in sick.
But i am constantly giving-and working hard-with constant pressure and no support

even though i will be about £20 a week worse off nit working-i couldnt manage-i need more money, not less as my kids are getting older and eating loads more and want trainers for £30 etc

so giving up the job is not a good option-i will be under a very different stress.

scruffyteddy, i dont have an answer as I am looking too. Im not sure if you are depressed, as I think just being under constant pressure is sooooo hard, and nit being able to recharge your batteries, is the problem. How will poppoing ant depressants change the situation?

[ScruffyTeddy]

Thanks for all your replies. When I say I was more or less forced to do the extra hours, one reason was that for the job they gave me they needed someone full time really, so I was lucky I got to do 30hrs at all. Boss was very understanding but they wont allow us any more staff. I couldnt afford to go back to 16 hours now anyway as the council got me into a lot of debt by keep making mistakes with my rent and that was stressful enough in itself, I was threatened with eviction several times. At least this way I dont have to claim housing benefit so there's no room for error really. I committed myself to a loan to get me out of the trouble they got me into, so thats another factor.

The funny thing is, the job itself is not stressful. Its not some powerful position. When things go right its great (not much fun but ok). I know that my performance isnt great though because I have too much to do, and that bothers me because I cant afford to lose it.

Someone mentioned eating well and I really do try. I eat loads of fruit and veg, salads and allsorts. The preparation annoys me because it takes so long at night to make up my dinners and ds's packed lunches. As for exercise, I would love to, really intended to make a change this year but am lucky if I can crowbar myself off the sofa!

I think if I could just change one thing everything else would follow but I really dont know where to start. I went to bed early last night and sure enough, come 4pm I was yawning at my desk yet again.

You know, years ago I was proud that everything was a struggle and I still got through it. Now I more or less feel like im really letting my kids down and wondering when things are going to get easier. Im probably looking at it all wrong but I keep thinking "surely something should have changed by now?", and it doesn't. Every year is like the last.

Feel better for getting this out though!

[Scramble]

Glad you feel better getting it all out

I think you have hit the nail on the head you need to find small things to change and ther rest might follow, its not going to happen on its own if it hasn't by now.

I know what you mean about likeing the challenge of the struggle, I used to be proud of how thrifty I could be, all my charity shop bargains, how I could manage when H wasn't there and all that. But it does start to grate and drain you after years of doing it and you like to think that after so many years you shouldn't have to still struggle so much. I am now at the point where I am relaxing a bit and although I am still fitting everything in and making the money stretch I am finding it easier now it is all down to me.

I have stopped killing myself applying for every job I see that I could never manage anyway due to childcare. I can manage on my wage and tax credits so that will do me for now, I am trying to enjoy the simple (cheap) pleasures of life and accept that I am not going to be living in the lap of luxury but that my life is OK and I need to enjoy what I do have, which is two amazing children.

Head up sweetie, you can do it. You can take control.