Do you worrying about becoming terminally ill/dying young - what would happen to you child(ren)?

[MascaraOHara]

I know it's not very cheery for first thing on a Wednesday morning but I worry about it quite a bit. My dd doesn't have any contact with her father but if anything happened to me I know he'd go for custody just out of spite. He is not a good man and I worry what would happen to my daughter if anything happened to me.

Does anyone else worry what will happen to their children and/or have you put anything in place to secure their future if anything were to happen?

If so, what and how?

I think I could include it in my will but I think he would still be able to challenge that as her biological father even though he has no paretnal responsibility

[chrissnow]

i don't worry about it as such, but i have thought about it. me and dh decided to write our wills and if we should both 'go' together we have asked our friends (and dds godparents) to have guardianship. They have agreed.
I'm not sure on the legalities with your ex, but if its in there at least it would make the legal side look into whether or not he's suitable?

[spicemonster]

I have made a will which makes my sister and her DH my DS's legal guardians if anything were to happen to me but there is no father's name on his birth certificate.

I can understand your concern. I would speak to a solicitor if I were you MascaraOHara.

[PippiCalzelunghe]

oh I worry about this all the time. That is the only reason I have made a will. I really would not want DC to go with someone I didn't like or trust. like chrissnow I don't know the legalities of an estranged father but doing a will will make your position clear and legal. It'll be more difficult to challenge and they'll have to look into it. I am aware that doesn't matter what I do I won;t be able to control what happen once I am gone but at least it something.

[Alambil]

absolutely - my ex would go for custody through spite too. He hasn't seen DS since he was 14 months old - he wouldn't know who he was if he fell over him.

I live in the hope that my parents have enough money to - and they would - fight tooth and nail in court to stop custody (there is history of domestic violence too so that is in my favour).

I have a clause in my will stating who the guardians are (my parents, then my sister) - that is all we can do which sucks, especially as these men idiots don't have any contact or pay any maintenance etc, but that is legal issues (and aren't there loads!) that need changing... another issue for another day!

I don't let it worry me to a "affecting-your-life" level because there is nothing we can do to control it; it's not like we even know when or if it will happen.

[Alambil]

having no PR, MoH is a good thing - yes, he could challenge it but you could get your appointed guardians to apply for PR which would possibly over-ride any challenges (ring a lawyer (30 mins free appointment) - see if you can do that)

[allgonebellyup]

no i dont worry about this at all, in fact i have been suicidal for past few months so have in fact been making plans for my sister and bil to care for my dc should i take the easy way out.. crap mother arent i?

[lostdad]

...my ex would be saying exactly the same thing - I'd be doing it for spite. I would want my son to live with me, because his mum isn't his only parent who loves him more than life itself.

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[leoleo]

I think put it on your will. Do a small life policy in trust to the people you want to have your LO and they can use that money to take the other person to court and fight it or take the money, if they don't need to go on a holiday that your lo will love to feel a bit better.

ALLGONEBELLYUP- you ok?

[allgonebellyup]

yep feelin better today - didnt mean to scare anyone with my thoughts.

[iloverosycheeks]

allgonebellyup - i don't know anything about you or your circumstances but was so sad to read your post, I really hope things improve for you and that you are getting help and support

[leoleo]

allbellyup - glad your feeling better.