May be joining you all in the near future - advice appreciated.

[KaySamuels]

I have a thread going in relationships at the moment and I don't know if me and DP will be able to sort things out. Have given us til April max, I have moments of delusion optimism, but mostly I don't think we can both change who we are so I am trying to prepare myself for the worst.

Are any of you a single mum of one like I would be? What would I be entitled to? Would probably have to claim I.S, how much is this?

I am living on an impossible budget at the moment anyway but do you all manage? I know deep down I would be ok but it is still scary.

[wooga]

Helpful advise should pop along later-I'm still new to all this myself,but I've seen your thread and wanted to reply to you-am sorry that you're having to go through so much but I can understand what you said about lost trust.

It not easy, but once you've decided what's best for you, things do become less scary and you begin to realise that If you need to you can be alright without them.

I'm watching thread too, handy advise in this section.

[MascaraOHara]

HI, just wanted to pop in and say it's not half as bad as some people imagine.. there arae lots of positive things that come out of being a single parent.

I'm afraid I don't know about I.S etc so can't help there but have been on my own with dd since she was 6 months and for the most part I enjoy parenting alone..

Lots of people here to support you when you are finding it tough as well!

[skyatnight]

Kay - just wanted to make sure your thread didn't go unanswered. I am a single mum of one who receives child maintenance, although my relationship with my ex is not good otherwise.

I have read your Relationships thread and I feel really sorry for you. You must be feeling dreadful at the moment, very anxious about the future and the welfare of your son, and probably wishing the whole problem would just go away.

Emotionally, it must be very difficult to cope with but you're young and you have a son and, long-term, it would be worse to stick your head in the sand. If he's not treating you well and you can't trust him, leave.

www.entitledto.com is a good site where you can input the details of your financial circumstances and it will tell you what you are entitled to. I would also go to the Citiizens Advice Bureau (and possibly the lone parents advisor at the job centre) and they will talk it through with you. I'm not sure whether you work or not but you may be entitled to tax credits if you do. As a single parent, you only have to work 16 hours in order to get working tax credits and you would get child tax credits if you don't already.

If you are not working, you would get income support. I presume you would get child maintenance from your (ex-) partner (15% of his net income).

I am not the best person to advise on benefits, etc., but I'm sure someone else will help soon.

I hope you can work things out with your partner but, if he won't treat you better and you need to separate, you will be ok.

[KaySamuels]

Thanks for your replies, I'm feeling in limbo at the moment and I guess I just want to be confident about going it alone if we can't work things out.

[ginnedup]

Hi Kay.
If you are not working you should get IS, housing benefit and council tax benefit and child tax credits as well as maintenance (although they only let you keep £10 a week of it) and child benefit. I was on this when I first split with xp. You also get free prescriptions, free school meals and dentist etc which helps. You are not rich by a long shot but you can manage on it.
If you are working more than 16 hours a week you will get Working Tax credit and they pay for 70% of your childcare costs.
I really do enjoy being a single parent, it has its down sides but so does being in a couple most of the time too.
I find weekends the worst time as all my friends spend time with their partners and I always feel a bit lonely, but I try and take the dc out whenever I can.
Good Luck.