ARGH when will he get it

[nutcracker]

Have just spent the last hour, having an argument via text with xp.

Basically, I am sick to death of him still trying to be overly familiar with me (ie telling me i looked sexy today for eg) and insinuating (sp?) every 5 bloody minutes that I have a new man.

Everytime he is in my company and I get a txt, he makes some comment, like 'blimey he's keen' or arranging your next date' or something similar.

Anyway he did it again tonight and I kinda lost the plot and txt him back telling him i'd had enough, I didn't want him making comments about me or my appearance, because a) i don't give a toss what he thinks and b)it's not his place to be making comments like that. Also said that i didn't want him texting me like we were mates etc.

I also told him that basically, if we didn't have kids, I would never have anything at all to do with him again and that he needed to grow up and keep his bloody nose and opinions out of my life.

His replies were all like i'd really offended him etc and making out that he is like this for the kids sakes which is bollocks.

But, after all that, he still hasn't got it.

He text saying he'd stick the £20 he was giving me for Dd2's brownies through the door so I didn't have to see him. Next thing I know, he sticks it through door and then texts saying 'pick it up before it blows away, so he'd obviously stood there waiting to see if i went and picked it up.

He then text again, saying could i not tear myself away to pick it up (from what i don't know). I rpelied saying, I already had it, and he text back some jokey comment, like he basically hadn't understood one single word i'd said over the past hour.

ARGH

[tortoise]

What a nightmare! I would be annoyed too.
Luckily my xp isn't allowed to contact me or he would probably be the same!
No idea what to suggest other than maybe just ignoring the comments and if he texts to do with anything but the kids, don't reply.

[nutcracker]

Yeah, normally that is exactly what I do, because I don't want to waste money replying to his texts, but he just woud me up today.

Oh well, at least I don't have to see him tommorow now he posted the money through the door

[OverMyDeadBody]

Ignore every text he sends, keep communication to the bare minimum for child arrangements etc. And just ignore anything chatty he tries to say to you when you see him. He'll soon get the message and not bother.

You've told him how you feel now and it's inapropriate, now stick to your guns and don't get drawn into any discussions or arguments. Don't reply to his texts, just delete them as they come in, I find that far more satisfying!

[mummyofaprincess]

nutcracker i have the same

My xp wasnt nice though, he said to me the other day because i had my nails done i was a slapper.<br /> <br /> Then he called me a tart and then DD was saying it he just laughed!<br /> <br /> But when he came into my home i was in the kitchen looking for a necklace i had put in there so didnt say hello to him like normal and he instead smacked my bum (like he used to before) wasnt impressed!<br /> <br /> I was putting my necklace on and then he started asking who i was meeting later etc and asked why i had got dressed up?? Like its any of his buisness!!<br /> <br /> I also get the "whos that" when the phone rings, or if i get a txt its "oh is that your BF"

He has a sad life!

He also said to me the other day you only ring me when you want something (to do with DD) Well what else would i call you for he did leave me for OW!!!

He`s an idiot!

[Tinkerbel6]

nutcracker pick it up its yours I know he really annoys you but at lest he has a sence of humour, lol

[nutcracker]

I am absolutly fuming now

I have had no sleep, basically because xp decided to send me 4 text messages at around 2am, all of them disgusting, asking me if I was f***g someone right now and various other crap.

He was obviously drunk as I could not even read the one message.

I then lay awake for hours worried that he would decide to come round to the house, which thankfully he didn't.

I want to move

[Freckle]

Why do you bother (a) reading his texts (just delete them without reading) and (b) responding to them? He is continuing because he gets a response.

Turn your phone off at night and then delete any texts he sends when you switch it on in the morning. Tell him - to his face - that any communications between you are to be solely about the children and that any other comments from him are unwelcome.

[KaySamuels]

I agree with freckle turn your phone off when you go to bed. When he rings let it go to answer machine. Only reply to texts if they are to do with contact for the kids.

He is sad. It is a PITA that he has moved so close but not much you can do really, just stick to your guns and don't get dragged into it.

What are your contact arrangements? Does he take the kids on a regular day? Have them ready and meet him at the door, make it clear it now your house!

[nutcracker]

I haven't responded to these texts.

I can't switch my phone off at night because a) I don't have another phone upstairs and like to have it on incase of emergencys, and b) I use the phone as my alarm clock.

I am planning on getting one of those twin packs of phones, so that I can have one upstairs without needing another line put it, but can't afford to buy one at the mo.

[KaySamuels]

could you put it on silent?

He is an arse to not listen to you, but you knew that already.

[nutcracker]

If i put it on silent I won't hear the alarm go off.

He is supposed to be seeing the kids later on, as it is his birthday today, but I have a feeling he won't turn up.

I've just had enough, I don't want to have to see him, hear him or anything anymore.

[Freckle]

Nutty, are you registered with freecycle? I've seen loads of multiple handset phones on my local lists. People often upgrade and then want to get rid of the old ones, even though they work perfectly well. You could even post a wanted message on there.

[nutcracker]

I'm not Freckle, but will have a look later.

I think I am going to make some general enquirires as to how things would go if I did decide that I want to transfer, just so I know what my options are.

[eandh]

nutcracker I may still have a spare set of phones you could have (actually its 4 phones 1 main one and 3 additioanl sets)

DH is outside fixing his car with FIL at the moment, when he gets back in I can go and have a look if we still have them

[KaySamuels]

If you could transfer (not sure what this involves) then maybe that would be good for you and the kids. I do think you should look into it. Do you have people who could help you move if the opportunity came along?

[nutcracker]

eandh, thankyou, would definatly be interested if you still have them.

As far as I know, I can apply to transfer within my HA quite easily, however I am currently in the best area that my HA has on it's list.

I need to find out if I can apply to trasfer to properties held by other HA;s.

I have looked into exchanging with another HA tennant but they tend to say they are interested and then you bnever hear from them again.

[nutcracker]

He just rung to ask if he was still seeing the kids today, and then when I answered him a bit sharply he asked me why the hell I was eing so off with him .

Apparently he cannot remember sending me any texts (how convienient, luckily i still have them).

He apologoised, I told him I didn't give a toss and that from now on I wanted nothing at al to do with him and he will now pick up and drop off and thats it.

[Tinkerbel6]

nutcracker it isnt his business if you are getting some or not, turn your mobile off as your alarm works whether its off or on, try it, also you would be able to hear your home phone upstairs if it rang, I personally dont like mobiles on next to me whilst im sleeping and I often turn them off as soon as I get home, you can also buy an alarm clock in tesco for around £5.

[nutcracker]

Thing is, I don't see why I should have to change how I do things just becausehe is such an twat. I spent 10 years doing things how he wanted them done.

Jusxt trying phone to see if alarm works with it off, my old one didn't.

[nutcracker]

It does work switched off, so at least thats one thing.

[bossybritches]

You should be able to turn off the txt alert without turning off the phone? Then you can ignore the txts till you are ready & just read them in case it's sensible stuff & delete them if not. He'll soon get bored!!

[Alambil]

Nutcracker, argos do a 2-phone set for £19 99 (no answerphone though). Just so you know.

Hope he gets bored soon. Some men are such bastards

[nutcracker]

Thanks lewis, will have a look.

I text xp to tell him the kids were ready and after a few min he text saying 'send them out', so i replied 'no, knock the door like a grown up'.

He is such a f***g child.

[Freckle]

You don't need a bespoke answerphone if you opt for BT 1571 - it's free.

[eandh]

sorry took ages yesterday then I forgot to look I cant find them anywhere, I'll try the loft tomorrow and let you know