utterly sick to death of XH and his games

[noche]

It is so hard to describe all this so I will try to be brief. In the last week, XH has proved how crap a dad/person he really is and I want to kill him!
1)He lied, saying his mum had been rushed to hospital on fri night when she hadn't, as an excuse to not pick up DD for contact sat morning. Texted at 1 in the morning to give news, then nothing-no call to Dd apologising, explaining, rearranging. When I picked her up instead (she had been at a sleepover) she cried and said "I don't want you, I want daddy. I hate you"
2)DD told me Daddy never has time for her cos he is too busy to even play a game. She sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably saying all they do when she sees him is go to shops, then he talks and snogs with his partner the rest of the time! (he is 38 and a deputy head of a large secondary school!!!)
3) His solution to needing to find a new childminder as current one is moving away is that I will have to change my hours to fit in with new childminder who does not work before time I need her, as his job "is too important" ( I also have a management rolw in a secondary school)
4)Texted yesterday to say he would be late picking up Dd from school today so could I inform childminder. I told him to do it himself but he didn't so chhildminder had to take DD with her to her docs appt and he didn't even appologise

Could go on but I promised to be brief! It feels like he is a malign presence and I need to get away from him, but short of leaving the country, don't know how to deal with him. Any advice?

[lojomamma]

How long have you been split up.
Could you not go to mediation, at least to get him to see how shit he is.

[LittleSleighBellasRinging]

Easy to say but repeat the mantra

"I cannot control his actions, but I can control my responses to them".

Apart from that, not a lot of advice. Set firm boundaries and stick to them (as far as his disgusting behaviour allows you to).

What is the contact situation? Do you have joint c&c?

[noche]

believe it or not, we have been divorced for 2 years and separated 4, nearly. I have custody and he sees DD one night after school and 4-5 hours on a sat, family illnesses aside of course! However, when he feels like changing it he does, and there is always a good "excuse". Furthermore, he always brings DD back ealry on a sat, despite agreeing to the time when he picks her up-sometimes even more than an hour early. Then, if I am not in he gets her to ring me to say she is home where am I? Forgot to mention too that he is going ski-ing over Xmas so not seeing DD. He doesn't deserve to be a dad! Daft to say as he is one already but he doesn't deserve her devotion. I hope he gets his comeuppance somewhere along th eline. At the moment though I just feel he is taking the piss and I want to scream at him. I thought I was over hating him, and I guess I am for my sake. Now I hate him for hurting DD and her being old enoughto realise he's a shit and him not seeming to care.