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another question about child maintenance sorry. xxx

14 replies

mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 12:57

Im a lone parent and months ago i tried opting out of going through the ccs as i know that it would cause my ex to get all upset he loses his temper at the slightest thing! i have told them what he is like where police have been involved and he once kicked me while i was on the floor and that he is very bad tempered, so at the moment we are on acceptable talking term just where he is giving me money every week into naomi's bank account i dont even need to see him. only when he comes to see naomi. i recieved a letter saying that they decided against it!!! so now this will cause a whole heap of stress! what if i choose not to still go with what then? why cant they leave it be that he is giving me money?

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mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 12:58

oh and im on income support as i got made redundant

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PirateInaPeartree · 09/12/2007 13:01

becuase the theiving shites want the money, ok yes they are paying for your inc support, but if you get m,oeny form ex they want the rest bar £10 to put back into the system.

lone parentsget this treatment, even when they are not top blame for the ex going off, and they are put in a positon where they cannot find suitable work. They are [penalised, and basically the ex gets awy with properly making a finacial difference to the kid.

bah

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mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 13:05

its so frustrating!!!

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PirateInaPeartree · 09/12/2007 13:06

its wrong, £10 is a bloody joke.

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mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 13:10

is that how much i would get or is that how much they have off ex?

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Alambil · 09/12/2007 13:16

They will take however much they work out he needs to give (a % of his earnings) and then GIVE YOU £10

REGARDLESS of how much they take - he could be giving £500 a month - you will get £10

The CSA is shit - utter shit.

The laws are worse - but we lowly second class citizens deserve to be punished for being alone, don'tcha know - best not start a revolt, they'll only force us to go to the workhouse.

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sarah1969 · 09/12/2007 14:18

I was in a similar position as you with a violent ex, but he also threatened to commit suicide if the CSA got involved. Thankfully they allowed me to opt out but I think its disgraceful how they work. Thankfully I receive £100 a month from my ex, to some this is a lot, to others hardly anything. IF the CSA was involved he would have to cough up abuot £250 a month, but like everyone said I would only get £10 of it. But like I said, thankfully they allowed me to opt out. They really need to overhaul the whole system for single parents, not bully them into going out to work when they are going to be financially worst off!

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mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 14:26

what did you tell them? my fella is violent to the extent police got involved and i was kicked on the floor, is that not reason!!!??? im dreading telling him!! i know he is going to kick off!!

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Alambil · 09/12/2007 14:31

Say the police have been involved because you fled domestic violence - contacting him will result in SERIOUS risk to you and your family. Lay it on thick - they really need it.

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sarah1969 · 09/12/2007 14:37

I told them how violent he had been towards me and dd, how he had asked to have his name taken off the birt certificate so he couldnt be traced, and how he was undergoing counselling for depression and had threatened suicide. Like LewisFanBAHons said, lay it on thick. I told them I was scared of him kicking off and lived each day in fear for myself and my daughter and if they chased him for money he would either do something silly to himself or to me and my daughter. Luckily I had a great interviewer, and she could see I was in a terrible state, so I think she put in a good word for me. Get back in touch and tell them that he has threatened to hurt himself and/or you if they get involved! Hope you manage to sort it.

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mommy2007 · 09/12/2007 14:37

they need the application form filled in just before xmas, this is going to wreck my xmas!!!! think i should ring them then?

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sarah1969 · 09/12/2007 14:40

Yes, ask for another interview, tell them that he has threatened you SINCE you last spoke to them. Tell them that you are scared what he will do. Dont lay it on too thick about your life being in danger as they will just say call the police or whatever and report him. Tell them he has threatened suicide, show them how emotional you are. Cant do any harm but might just turn it around for you.

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Tinkerbeltinsel · 10/12/2007 10:34

mommy arent you declaring the money your ex gives you?, if not then do tell IS, they will reduce your IS bar £10 but then it keeps the CSA of his back and him off your back.

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HappyMummyOfOne · 11/12/2007 10:25

Its worth contacting them again and appealing, not sure if this would have any success but worth a try. Tell them you're happy to accept IS on a reduced basis as youre getting some x amount of maintenance.

I know its of no comfort but they are strict with "opting out" of the CSA as some people do this and then take private maintenance which is benefit fraud.

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