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Have I lost my marbles,or what?

52 replies

tetti · 03/11/2007 22:02

Right,have been single for 3 months after the father of my child,and partner of 12 years left.
I had completely gone off sex for the last 2 years of our relationship,and simply thought that that side of me was gone and buried forever!I felt nothing,and came up with any excuse I could not to sleep with him!
Then I saw a guy where I do my shopping and whoah! Don't ask me what happened there,but I felt such an intense attraction to the guy that it almost floored me!lol

We'd been flirting badly for the last 2 months or so,and even more so since he found out that I was no longer with my ex!
Now,eventually,well,today(!) I just thought-What the heck!,and gave him my number and just said to give me a ring sometime.

What is the problem? Well,I am pretty sure this guy has to be at least 10 years younger than me!
I do look alot younger than my age (often get asked-It must be so hard to be such a young mum,when I 'm in fact in my early 30's!,so they must think I'm in my early 20's or something!),and I guess this guy would probably run a mile if he knew my actual age!lol

It is ok for a guy in his early 30's to go out with a woman in her early 20's,no one would raise an eyebrow,but when the woman is older than the man?

Has anyone else got any experience of dating a younger guy,would you go for it,or just forget it?
I dk how I'd raise my age with him,I don't feel my age at all,but just saying my age makes me feel so old!lol

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tetti · 03/11/2007 23:36

Oh,wow! he just called,and he is 25,result!
Spent over an hour on the phone to him,I am getting the butterflies so bad!lol
I do not think I can get a moments sleep tonight!

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Boysandbeaches · 04/11/2007 00:37

So, did you tell him your age?!!! How wonderful to feel the way you are - enjoy. Oh, by the way, I did have a relationship with someone younger (by 5 years) but most people thought he was older than me . I like to think that's because I'm so youthful (not!).

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jennypenguin · 04/11/2007 12:21

Good luck to you, just enjoy yourself and have some fun!

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Rosasmum · 04/11/2007 12:47

Wow, how exciting for you. I don't think it matters if he is younger than you. Ultimately what matters is that you are happy and having fun. Whatever other people think is often not worth worrying about.

George x

P.S. And anyway you are only as old as you feel.

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tetti · 04/11/2007 21:23

yep,I told him my age,and he still rang me this eve and sent me txt's today,lol.
I really do feel like I need some botox though!haha.Being with an older guy you don't worry so much,but a younger guy?
Whoa,I think I need a total make over!lol

The hard thing now is playing it cool though,I don't want to scare him off!
If I want something(or someone rather) I can be quite straight forward,I think that just comes with old age,lol.
I suggested we'd meet up sometime,and he sounded really "taken aback",or maybe just surprised,it's like,you give the man a compliment and it's like he's thinking-How can anyone think that about me?
He is one of the few men that are drop dead gorgeous,but genuinely does not realise it!
I do want to take things slow,and I get the feeling he's one guy who does not rush into things either,but who takes his time in getting to know someone.
I really dk what will happen from here,but I hope things will work out ok.I haven't done this getting to know you,dating thing for over 12 years,so you could say I am pretty rusty!

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tetti · 04/11/2007 21:23

yep,I told him my age,and he still rang me this eve and sent me txt's today,lol.
I really do feel like I need some botox though!haha.Being with an older guy you don't worry so much,but a younger guy?
Whoa,I think I need a total make over!lol

The hard thing now is playing it cool though,I don't want to scare him off!
If I want something(or someone rather) I can be quite straight forward,I think that just comes with old age,lol.
I suggested we'd meet up sometime,and he sounded really "taken aback",or maybe just surprised,it's like,you give the man a compliment and it's like he's thinking-How can anyone think that about me?
He is one of the few men that are drop dead gorgeous,but genuinely does not realise it!
I do want to take things slow,and I get the feeling he's one guy who does not rush into things either,but who takes his time in getting to know someone.
I really dk what will happen from here,but I hope things will work out ok.I haven't done this getting to know you,dating thing for over 12 years,so you could say I am pretty rusty!

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misspudding · 05/11/2007 12:27

I am seeing someone who is 10 years younger than me too and to be honest It's great!!Good luck Tetti!

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tetti · 06/11/2007 10:37

Thank's:-)

I have a slight dilemma though,having been out of the datin game for so long,lol.

He came over yesterday,and boy,i thought he seemed really quite innocent before,but he's not a shy boy!
We we're chatting about literally everything for 3 hrs,then he started to cosy up to me,and well,let's say he left my house very physically frustrated!lol
He really is dropdead gorgeous,and I fancy the pants off him big time.
I make a point of not sleeping with someone on the first date,but I know that next time I see him it will be impossible for me not to!
It sounds bad,but I am so drawn to him physically that it's driving me bonkers!

What would you do? Just go with the flow and have fun with the toyboy?
After 12 years with someone I don't really want anything too serious.
I said in my post that I want to take things very slow,but after snogging the face of this guy I just don't think I will be able to!God,I feel like a teenager again!

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lemonstartree · 06/11/2007 10:40

go with the flow and ENJOY!!!!

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misspudding · 06/11/2007 12:12

Yep, go with the flow. I was out of the dating game for five years and like you, I wanted to take things slowly...well, I just can't resist my 'toyboy'

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misspudding · 06/11/2007 12:13

Yep, go with the flow. I was out of the dating game for five years and like you, I wanted to take things slowly...well, I just can't resist my 'toyboy'

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misspudding · 06/11/2007 12:15

I am the one who's lost their marbles, sending the message twice while I am texting him... Enjoy!

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tetti · 06/11/2007 13:01

Lol,thank's!
Yesterday I found it sooo hard to keep my hands off him,but I thought,nah,he can't have a threecourse meal on the first date!lol
I have to forget about my body complex though,could seriously do with a boob job as I'm more like Kate Moss than Kelly Brook!,and I do feel concious of looking like a plank!!!

I feel sooo nervous of the thought of being with another guy after having spent 12 years plus with my ex,very concious indeed!Maybe I need a glass of wine to forget about my hangups!
It was mad yesterday,my ex came over to see our girl,then I rushed to get her to bed so she'd be asleep for when the toyboy got here!
But I'm not going to feel bad,us mum's need some loving too!:-)

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tetti · 06/11/2007 13:49

Another thought,before I actually go further with him,I want to make sure that he's not sleeping around(not too keen on players!).But can I actually ask him to exclusively sleep with just me,although we may not be getting "serious"?hmm

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misspudding · 06/11/2007 15:28

This thought was in the back of my mind too, but I think I am learning to trust again. He says he trusts me too, so far so good. i think you might surprise yourself and regain some confidence but you have to establish that trust.
I know I have over the past few weeks: I feel more like a woman than just a mummy. For instance, I pay more attention to my appearance, even went for a manicure!!
If you want to get in touch with me via personal email, I think you can via this site (don't want to leave my email on here).
Hope it all goes well for you Tetti! x

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tetti · 06/11/2007 21:55

Hi there,can't seem to find your email.x

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lou33 · 06/11/2007 22:16

oh i love dating younger guys

since splitting with my exh almost 2 years ago i have only dated men younger than me, my last bf was 11yrs 3m younger and the current one i am v tentatively starting seeing is 10 yrs 9 m younger

i am 41 in jan

i would just do with what feels right for you, tho unless you have decided together you are a couple i dont think you can tell him he has to be exclusive to you, as such

i usually say that they are free to see who they like, but i would appreciate being told if they are seeing others so i can decide if i want to continue seeing them or not

you also need to decide if you could cope with it possibly being just a shag, and just put it down to a bit of fun, if you didnt see each other again afterwards

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Pinkchampagne · 06/11/2007 22:35

There is nothing wrong with dating younger guys. If you are both attracted to each other, then go for it!

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lou33 · 06/11/2007 22:38

the only rule i have , is that if they could give birth to them, then thats too young

i dont want to be mistaken for their mum

i think 10 yrs or so is a good age gap, well for me anyway

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lou33 · 06/11/2007 22:38

if i could give birth to them lol

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Pinkchampagne · 06/11/2007 22:42

lol @ lou!

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lou33 · 06/11/2007 22:43

it's a good rule, works very well for me

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tetti · 07/11/2007 13:51

I think I might say something along the lines of,If I get it now,I will want it again,so I am not going to put out if I am not going to see you again after!lol

I would happily see him a couple of times a week for fun,but I would not want to sleep with him just the once,with him vanishing off the face of the earth as soon as he got what he wanted!No way...
That is what I would dread most of all really,and I kind of need to know before I sleep with him what his intentions are.Tricky one that,because if a guy cant wait to get you into bed,he will say anything to please you!Am I getting jittery or what!lol

How long did you others wait before actually sleeping with your toyboys?
I dont want to appear to easy,but I really dont think that I can keep my hands off the guy when I see him again (I hated sex with my ex,and did anything to avoid it,thought my drive was gone forever,then I meet this guy and my hormones has gone totally nuts!!!lol)

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tetti · 08/11/2007 11:02

Isn't it funny,now my ex,despite having a new girlfriend,is getting really jealous!
What,did he expect me to stay a nun after we split?
Don't think her likes the thought of me having fun with a gourgeous man 14 years his junior!lol

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misspudding · 08/11/2007 11:32

Hiya! Sorry not being in touch, my internet connection was playing up. My email is [email protected] if you fancy a chat

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