cant imagine ever settling down again

[AMAZINWOMAN]

It would take a very special man if I was ever to settle down again. I know there are great men out there, but they are happily married. i have just looked on a dating website, and omg, they are awful. It really would be scraping teh bottom of the barrel for me to date them.

I exhanged emails with one man-it turns out hes a closet trekkie. (just not my taste at all)

but as i never go out (kids dad is dead and my family dont help) im unlikely to meet anyone for the next few years. I work-but no single men at all.

the longer i am single, the more selfsh i get. But part of me still has thsi romantic hope that i will meet a wonderful man who will be a dad to my kids

[brandy7]

same here! dont get out at all, and no hunks at work. ive tried the dating sites and find them full of dishonest men, who state they are "genuine and honest", yea right.

I also would love to meet someone as im fed up of being a "single". i think this time of year is even worse.......xmas can be very lonely, even if you do have your kids around you

im actually going out to a local pub next friday, the first time ive been out since my youngest was born, hes now 3! im already thinking "i hope theres a few decent blokes in there!"

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx
And if you meet a fantastic man, send his single brother to me

[citylover]

Have posted on some other threads. Unfortunately not going to be a happy ending sorry!! But some good bits on the way.

Got divorced in Feb 07 after separating in Aug 06. Like you can't entertain the thought of internet dating and no-one remotely interesting at work. Actually can't entertain the idea of getting together with someone in the same profession as ex H.

At first thought I would never ever be with anyone ever again. However a few months ago got together with an ex bf but who I have been seeing since then but that now seems to have gone badly wrong, mainly for practical reasons. Am feeling sooo gutted and wretched much more so than over the divorce funnily enough. Am find it hard to keep myself together but this could be culmination of things really as I seeemd to sail through the sep and divorce.

But at least I know that someone was interested in me and didn't seem to have so many issues like my ex. But the path is rocky and when you are just div or single parent I think you are very fragile.

Not sure what the answer is really just wanted to post. Not interested in meeting just men in general they will have to be really really special to get anywhere near me!!

I thought I wouldn't want to live with or be with anyone again but actually would do with the ex bf!! So I suppose the moral of the story is that if the right person comes along then you may feel differently about settling down again!!

Hope that helps.

[madamez]

No need to worry about it. Couplehood is not compulsory, and given all the gruesome things that can happen in couple relationships, it's definitely a better option to be on your own than to hook up with any old arsehole just so you can say you have a partner.

[allgonebellyup]

i have pretty much come to realise that at 28, i will be on my own forever.
i am not over my ex, and i dont feel that anyone will ever measure up to him.

The thought of 50 more years on my own makes me want to top myself, but hey-ho.
Also the thought of never being in love again (both my sisters are all loved-up at the mo ) and never having lovely sex again, as opposed to seedy one night stands, makes me sad.

[alittleone2]

Message withdrawn

[allgonebellyup]

yes i know you are right.

i just feel this pressure to be with someone because my ex got with someone so quick, i feel i need to cover up the pain.

And at first i loved being on my own, but the novelty has worn off and now i am so lonely.

[bitsnbobs]

Can really understand how you feel. At first being single was great and now I just feel flat.

Went to the park after school with Ds's and it was all couples there with their children. I felt really lonely and fed up.I find myself acting a bit desperate and then think sod it I will try and enjoy being single. I think it would be nice to have someone else for certain times but I couldn't handle a full on realtionship at the mo anyway.

I have been on the internet dating sites too and they all seem to be a bit odd or are really keen and then back off or maybe its just me,lol. A psychic told me I would split up with my partner when I was 28 and meet someone else when I was 30 so I am hanging onto that , only 1 yr to go

[allgonebellyup]

ooh spooky bitsnbobs, i also got the feeling i might meet someone when i hit the big 30, but that may just be wishful thinking!

also i do find men on dating sites are either tossers or too keen/slightly odd !

[jennypenguin]

My xh has only very recently left me for another woman, so I know i'm not ready for a relationship. However, I miss the cuddles, I miss sharing the good stuff and the crap, I miss the sex and I'd love to meet someone gorgeous just to rub his face in it!
Seriously though, I hate the thought of being on my own for the rest of my life, but I don't know how I could ever trust someone again after xh has been so horrible, and he's been with loads of other women over the past few years and i had no idea.
I'm just hoping one day the right man will come along and it'll just feel right, and I won't even think about comparing him to xh.

[zmandaz]

I joined a couple of dating sites but the only response I got was one guy who wanted no strings sex and another who was nearly 60 and sounded a bit slimey! The only guy I really like is an ex who when we talked about where we stood he told me that he's not interested in any relationship at the moment, isn't ready to settle down, it's not me, it's him etc etc but sent me an email yesterday saying that he met a really cute woman at work but he was disappointed because she's married! He couldn't understand why I was offended!
My problem is that I get really really lonely and I miss not being in a relationship. Plus I'd love to have more children but don't want to go through it all alone again. I even sometimes miss my ex but that doesn't seem to last long Plus, I'm sick of people telling me 'you never know what's round the corner' and 'there's plenty of fish out there'. I've been round that many corners I'm going dizzy and yes there's plenty of guys out there but they all seem to be attached, gay or child-phobic! There must be some nice, family type blokes out there somewhere, musn't there?

[tetti]

Oh yea,went on "My Single Friend",and OMG,is it just me being fussy,or or most men on these sites so damn ugly?lol
Saw one profile of a guy who was gorgeous though,but his profile was removed before I even to to message him,lol.
It is soo much easier for single dads,my ex is already in a new relationship,and we split just 3 months ago!But as a mum living with a child,one has to be so very fussy,and it's so much trickier meeting someone,isn't it?

[allgonebellyup]

tetti, i thought you were now excited about the possibility of new man who is 25?

[AMAZINWOMAN]

Tetti, I have also just loooked at single friend. Im really not surprised that these men are single! (lol!) there was one nice man, but he was So full of himself. He thought he was gods gift to women, and that was just by reading his profile.

Im just giving up on relationships as I dont have the time/money/ opportunities to meet decent men. think I will just settle for my kids and cats when/if kids leave home!

[Raven0221]

I feel this way now .... has anyone found love ?

[HugeAckmansWife]

Yes, but slightly at arms length. After being left for ow and having every aspect of my life turned upside down theres no way i will cede control of any aspect. Met OLD, good guy, his wife left him, he raises his son alone. Several years in we dont live together and have no plans to. Im not interested in a blended family or compromising my complete independence so its not the same as being married and i do miss that, but i wont risk it again. This guy and i are close and when we can we do nice things together but it could end tomorrow and id be fine, as would my kids.

[Raven0221]

That’s nice maybe you can get closer and take that step to blend and move in together but aslong as your happy and so are your kids then that’s all that matters 👌

[HugeAckmansWife]

It won't happen anytime soon. I like the current set up and he really doesnt want small kids agaun (his is doing A levels). I think more people are starting to realise that a relationship doesnt have to look a certain way to be serious. I like the independence and security i have like this