Schooltime hell !!!!

[tetti]

I am so upset and mad I am literally shaking!
Just got back from dropping my little girl off at school.

Recently she had become very good friends friends with a classmate and I had also become very friendly with the girl's mum.
Yesterday we met up after school,and my little girl was exhausted and wanted to hold my hand when I picked her up.
Her friend kicked up a fuss and asked my daughter 6 times to hold her hand,my daughter said-No,I want to hold Mummy's hand ,I am really tired!
Her friend started to cry,and her mum proceeded to tell my daughter off very bluntly-That is unacceptable behaviour!You are not being sensitive to my daughter's feelings!(excuse me?She was tired and only told her friend that she wanted to hold my hand,what's disrespectful about that?)

This morning,in front of all the parents in the school ground,she shouted,yes,shouted at me-You are totally insensitive to my daughter's feelings and you are totally blinkered!Your daughter is just a crybaby!!!
She is rude and insensitive,I would never allow my child to behave like that!

I was stunned,told her-I am NOT taking this!,took my daughter and got her into the classroom.

I know this mum will try to spread as many nasty rumours and dirt around about me as possible to the other parents,by the looks I recieved this morning she's already begun doing just that!

I dk what to do,is like the playground bully has grown up,isn't it?Only that she has turned into a parent!

[peskipixie]

what a horrible woman! if i saw someone shouting that in the playground my first thought would not be they were a reasonable person. i bet most of the other mums were too emabarassed to say anything, if someone came up and said 'x is an awful mum, her dd wouldnt hold my dds hand' you would think 'nutter' and move on. i totally understand why you are so upset, i would be too but i am sure they didnt all believe her. you did absolutely the right thing

[moonmother]

Your dd is rude and insensitive for wanting to hold your hand???????

What planet is this woman on????

If this is the way that she parents her Dc she needs to be pitied.

Just ignore her but if she has ago again just tell her to grow up,that you're the adults and she should start to behave like one.

Anyone interested in listening to your side of the story will soon see shes completley bonkers!!!!!

[alittleone2]

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[alittleone2]

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[tetti]

Thanks's:-).I just cannot believe that I could be such a poor judge of character,how could I ever think this woman was ok?
I was absolutely gobsmacked.
I guess in hindsight I should have seen there was going to be trouble.
The kids had a play date,and her daughter broke something,blamed it on my daughter(I saw it),started crying to her mum,only to turn around,look at me with a big smile,before putting on the tears to her mum again (well,she does go to stage school at weekends!)

I know taking my daughter to and from school is going to be a nightmare now,as this woman has turned out to be very vocal!I guess she can spin a lie or two,so god knows what she'll tell them.
She can't play on the single mum thing,because she is one herself,but I am sure she will think of something.
I just dk what it is with some people,how they can turn so ugly so fast?
I just feel like crying,I am just so mad!
Me and my ex have an agreement,only us two or our child's teachers can dicipline(or rather tell her off) her,but for this woman to blow her top at my daughter yesterday for no valid reason at all? That is to me totally out of order.My girl was in tears yesterday,so god knows how she felt going into the classroom after the woman's outburst this morning!
If she is so insensitive and impolite and badly raised,why did she become "star of the week" for being polite,kind and considerate to her classmates? God,I am sooo fuming!

[manchita]

alittleon2 is right. just laugh at her. Act happy and relaxed if you can , and above all give your daughter lots of cuddlees and smiles. and please ignore her, she doesn't exist to you ok?
if any other mums could possibly side with her over this, what a bunch of losers! let the dust settle and i'm sure more people who support you will emerge....

[tetti]

I hope so..We live in such a "stuck up" area,and the mother in question is so afraid of admitting to the other mum's that she is a single mother,that she pretends she has a husband that works away! I have no problem whatsoever in admitting that I am a single mother,what is the shame in that? School ground politics,I really thought I'd left them behind years ago..

[Blu]

She is a total loon.

Don't worry - you won't be the only one who has clocked the nonsense of pretending her husband works away. And other parents will be aware of her dd's antics.

Good luck making friends with other people! Move on with your head held high!

[Tinkerbel5]

sounds like the woman is a control freak, the way to talk back to her is calmly as it hits home more, next time say something like oh ok im sorry if my daughter didnt want to hold your daughters hand but she she was tired so I didnt think it was a big deal, sorry I upset you so much, she will then look like a total loser

[manchita]

I think it's worse to scream at pepole in the playgrond or on the street than admit to being a single mother. I f you continue not to react, just be as serene as you can, she will look crazier and crazier...and then, after a while, you take your revenge ha! ha! (only joking)

[tetti]

That's true:-)
It's just crazy,I mean,I have worked with children for the better part of 10 years,so I know(along with every other parent on this board I can safely say) that every kid when tired will be a little bit clingy,or when at the age of 4,like my daughter,may just want some space.
This woman though doesn't seem to grab this.
I can't comprehend how she could turn this into a big drama! I mean,so my daughter wanted to hold my hand and not her daughter's,is that a reason to blow your top?It is so ludicrous that I dk whether to laugh or cry!

[tetti]

Yes,I will definetly try my hardest not to react,I guess if I stay very calm and don't say anything,then people will soon see who is the irational one!
Oh,your kind words really helps you know,I felt soooo terrible this morning,maybe I should put in the earplugs when I go to the school,just in case she says somthing that will make me mad!:-)
If she says anything more nasty to or about my daughter,omg,I will really have to bit my tongue very hard!

[manchita]

It's not really about hand holding though is it? It's about her dd getting whatever she wants. She could have explained to her dd that yours was tired and sometimes people don't want you to do things you wnat them too. In the short term, it's over protective and annoying, in the long term it's even worse..what a shame

[manchita]

If she approaches you just keep walking and distract yourself. if she says nasty things about your ddaughter have a word with the class teacher so that it doesn't spread over into the playground etc. Remember, you are in the superior position here. Is she really the type to say horrible things to children? what a nutter!

[tetti]

We have a parent's evening coming up,as it happens,so I think I may well have a word with the teacher then.I have a pretty strong feeling that this woman would say anything in order to make our lives difficult,going on what she told me about her own past.

[manchita]

You need to be the first one to make the school aware then.

[tetti]

Yes,I think I might have to.
I just cannot believe she had the cheek to blow her top in front of all the parents and children just as the the teacher opened the door to the classroom.Why did she have to be so public about things,rather than just having a quiet word with me if she was that upset? really,there was nothing at all to be upset about,her daughter was well over it withing 1 minute of it happening yesterday,it's just the mother who has got a beef.
It's like,I'm not going to force my daughter into doing something that she does not want,just so that your daughter can get her way? It's like forcing someone to give you a cuddle if they don't want to,you just don't!

[tetti]

I went to pick up my daughter today,saw the woman,but just held my head high and ignored her.A couple of sympathetic mums who's got kids in the other class gave me their support which felt really nice.
It is just a shame that the kids cannot be friends now,just because of the other girl's mum's actions,it's not fair on them,is it?

[nametaken]

Good for you Tetti, it's nice for you to have some support from other mums at the school. Just ignore her and keep your dignity. Your child will soon make friends with others - kids are very resilient.

[nutcracker]

Ignore her, not only will it make you look like the grown up in all this, but it will annoy her beyond belief.

I have to face a smilar situation every day and it has become quite obvious that this persons main problem with me now, is that I don't rise to her bait and give her the argument she so desperatly wants in front of everyone.

[Alambil]

I had a similar problem with a mum on the playground - she wouldn't let it drop either so I went to the headteacher

She daren't start it up again now!!

I suggest you go to your head too - they don't want bullying, whether it is the kids or adults as it will get a bad name for the school

[tetti]

I gave a note to the teacher yesterday when I went to collect my daughter from school,just to make her aware of the situation (should the loony woman try and cause any more trouble!).