One year on, son still crying

[redapple]

Split with DH about a year ago, he had a problem with cannabis for years, was miserable with our life and always cranky with the kids... then had affair with woman at work.( I'm sure I wasn't perfect either but he was a pain to live with and I was not devastated by the split) We managed to be quite grown up about the split and remained quite civil with each other. I thought we had handled it with my two DS, 6 and 8, quite well - lots of simple explanation, reassurance, loads of contact with DH.

We have developed a good routine where their dad sees them on regular days, has them one night a week to stay.

But we are a year on and DS2 still gets regularly upset, crying when DH leaves, asking for us to get back together. He is doing well at school, has made some close friends and seems quite happy in other areas of his life. It kills me to have him sobbing his heart out or getting angry with us. I don't expect him not to mind this has happened but I thought he would have accepted the situation a bit more by now.

DH has become Mr Funtime, great days out spent together,loads of rough and tumble, treats etc. While I am loving seeing the relationship between the three of them blossom, the boys have commented on how Dad is more 'fun' than me... I know this is a familiar story but it hurts doesn't it?

Feeling sorry for myself this morning! x

[macdoodle]

Same here had tears this morning from DD age 6 asking when dad could live with us again - heart breaking no answers just tons of empathy....

[redapple]

I'm sure there is no answer, I can't see what else I can do at the moment. Perhaps it's better they can express how they feel rather than burying feelings because we want them to have 'dealt' with it.

Meanwhile I'll have a quiet little sob everytime he gets so sad! Blimey, they never tell you how hard being a parent is going to be do they?

[lou33]

i think you just have to keep reassuring him that you and daddy both still love him very much

it's really horrible isnt it?

[EscapeFrom]

Ds1 keeps saying that daddy can come and sleep in his bed, there is room! he's four.