feeling really lonely

[aimeesmummy]

hi, is anyone there? I went to bed about 2hrs ago but am up cos I can't seem to stop crying tonight, and today has been really shite and i've cried in front of dd again, which I never wanted to do. We had a really lazy day, but went to the park late afternoon, but I am just so incredibly lonely it is really getting to me recently. I've ben living on my own for 7 months now and I went through an initial euphoria yippee he's gone kinda thing, then hit a massive low around DD's birthday 2 months ago (got 1st period then also, since coming off the pill xmas), but seemed to climbout of that but the last couple of days I'm heading down again.
Work is also shite, I can't seem to find anything to move onto to earn more money and the social part of work which always used to be really good in previous jobs (I have worked or same company for 15yrs) is now non-existant.
My family are doing my head in, my Mum who I've relied on a lot since dd was born, for the simple things like her company as well as help when dd is sick plus babysitting help - she's talking of moving 120 miles away in a couple of years time and she's the only person in my family i can sort of rely on for a bit of support. My sisters, well,one is 10yrs younger than me and despite me inviting her over is not interested and the other one who i've had long term issues with and who gave up trying for kids when i accidently became pregnant with dd, i think is manipulative and playing games with me and, call me paranoid, but i think she's talking to mum about how to just let me get on and find my own feet.
Friends, well I had a nce chat with my best friend earlier this evening but she lives miles away now and i'm finding it really hard to meet people to click with and go out with.
im sure this is all gonna sound really whingy but it's all getting to me today. oh, did i mention money? Solicitor wants £500 to hold on account; i dont have that so i now can't afford a solicitor to help me through seperation.
How on earth do you get through the low times? how long does it take to come out the otehr side? how do you get used to being on your own wih noone to talk to every evening/ etc etc etc. I'm really at my wits end.

[Desiderata]

Poor you!

It sounds like you're holding everything together, love. And cheesy thought this always sounds, positive thought is a very potent force. Go to bed tonight and tell yourself how wonderful you are. Describe, in your head, the way you want your life to be, all the way down to the finest details.

Welcome in the positive and banish the negative. Keep doing it. Don't get squashed by your loneliness. Use this time wisely, and it will bear fruit. I'm sure of it.

[allgonebellyup]

i am feeling just like you too if that helps.
totally can relate to the initial euphoria of splitting with someone then slumping to an all time low. am feeling that way now, really.
my mum is hard to talk to and i only have a handful of friends around but they seem to be so busy all the time. have been on a couple of dates but all pointless. money tight here too.

dont know what to advise as im same position! hope ur ok though, try to keep going for your dd's sake.

[zmandaz]

Have you tried meeting Mums in similar situations through the likes of this website, Netmums and M&B mag etc? They all have threads where you can put your details on and find other Mums in your area. I've registered and have had a few replies already. Also, I don't know if your religious but I've found my church a huge support and they run mum and baby groups and services which are a good way of meeting people.

Also, have you made sure you're getting the proper legal support/legal aid? I went to a family law specialist and am paying through legal aid. Have you asked at CAB to find out what you're entitled to?

Maybe you should sit down and have a think about what you really want to do with life now, job wise etc etc. There's loads of options to re-train or go to college and maybe you'll find something you really enjoy. Don't despair and don't give up for your DD's sake.

[jellyjelly]

You might find that you get incredible highs and then incredible lows and that is completely normal. I have been split for a year and i have stopped having them. I just got the full time permanent job which i needed and i was on a high from that.

things will get better.

[zookeeper]

oh dear girls - I've just split up with DP and feeling quite euphoric, almost hysterical. I suppose it's good to be prepared that it may not last.

Let's support each other. I'm going to keep a diary to remind me of why I am feeling so good now(ie what a nob my dp has been) to help me through the future downs.

[pirategirl]

hi just wanted to say you are not alone. I get very lonely too, and am dreading the summer hols, it has been great to have some me time, whilst dd5 had been occupied with school.

Just wish i had money, that would help, to get away somewhere sunny, to my mums in spain.

Where abouts do you live?

Its a shame we cant all be near each other.

Just remember, like i try too, that life is always changing, and there will be better days.
Even having a moan on here is theraputic.

take care

[Tansycat]

You poor thing! I do know how you feel - I split with my partner a while back and we are in the process of selling our house. I've moved and so left all my friends, my job etc to be near my parents. Have a new job that I'm starting next week but am living with my parents until the house is sold. I'm so grateful to them for putting me up but at 30 I never thought I'd be here again. Very sad and not sure what is worse - being lonely in my own place once DD is asleep or living here! Really want to move but don't want to be alone again! I do try to stay positive for both my sake and my DD's but she's started a new nursery and screams everytime I leave her there and keeps asking where daddy is! Breaking my heart!
I just think that it a years time who knows what might have happened - I could have won the lottery and met the man of my dreams. there is always something to look forward to if you have a good imagination!