I'm really struggling here, hope someone can give me a bit of perspective.
Have a three week old boy, and a four year old boy...I'm on my own with them.
I love them both to bits but the four year old is being so unkind to the baby and I'm starting to get really worried. The thing is he's been pretty awful to the cat since we got her when he was 1, doing things like pulling her tail, hitting her, cutting her whiskers etc. (Once he even painted her with gloss, I don't think he realised the consequences, luckily she survived)
Anyway he's just being a bit too rough with the baby and I sometimes end up feeling like he's really going to hurt him. I have to leave them alone for a minute sometimes, just to go in the kitchen or whatever, and I'll come back to find he's pushing the baby's leg the wrong way or something, he'll say 'sorry mum it was just a mistake', but I just despair.
Is he always going to hate his little brother? What can I do to make him feel better and less jealous? Of course the baby's needs have to be met, so he's more urgent if not more important iyswim. I've tried the usual, giving big brother presents, letting him hold the baby, talking to the baby about big brother and what he's doing, etc. (which he loves!) but still this mild violebnt streak persists.
He keeps being rough to me as well and I end up literally fighting him off, he's a big strong 4 year old, can be very forceful and I hate us getting into physical battles. But it's sometimes a case of that or letting him push me over/making me drop the baby.
To top it all I have a chest infection atm and have lost my voice. Plus no sleep of course due to night feeding.
The house is a tip, everything's covered in milk, my hair's full of baby sick, and I can't seem to control my older son.
I keep thinking I am never going to cope any better and might need to resort to something awful like social services etc.
I have no idea what to do. please say it won't always be this bad?????
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Please tell me this gets easier...or do we need serious help, asap? (sorry, long)
11 replies
SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 07:57
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