i think ex has had a vasectomy, i feel so sad.

[pirategirl]

Just need to talk. I am not over my ex, obviously the headline reeks of that, I feel so like 'that's that then'. Yes he is with someone new, has ben for 2 yrs. I havent let go yet. My dd is 4, I lost a pregnancy when i was with him, he left anyway 2 yrs later, and now, I am so upset that he has had this done.
I knew he was contemplating it last yr.
He has taken his responsobilities for his dd very lightly and generally behaved like a pig towards me since waliking out. So why oh why does it hurt so much that he has had the snip.
I tink its because we toook yrs to concieve dd, and to me him giving me a bay was special.
I feel so so down, so fed up of being on my own. It was the anniversary of him leaving and losing the pregnancy yesterday, and this is also when i found out he's been in for an 'op'.

He really doesnt care about out before life, has erased it, not a thought. I dont think i will ever get over it. OUr divorce comes thru soon. I feel really lost.

[shebbo]

hi,
he seemed to me like a person who has some problems.
if you were with him all your life i dont think you would be happy together, what do you think?
and its more his new girl friend's problem than you that he had the op. , she must be more unhappy than you are.
in summary, you and yr dd better of without him, and you can meet someone better than him who will appreciate you and yr dd.
try to socialize more.
best of luck. X.

[pirategirl]

I would have been happy with the person he was, you are right. She doesnt want any more kids either, as has some already.
The end of an era.

[sandydut]

If I were you I would be pleased that at least he can't have any children with his new partner. Imagine how painful that would be. I suspect that maybe you have always kept a dream that one day he would come back and you could have another baby? Maybe in that case it is also a good thing cos it might make you realise that the dream isn't going to come true and whilst that may hurt now, at least in the long run it will help you to move on. Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to, but I do think in the fullness of time you will see what I mean.

I find it actually refreshing that someone still loves someone who they split up with some time ago. Most people seem to move on to the next in no time at all, something I have never understood!

Sandy

[pirategirl]

HI thanks Sandy.
I do love him, well for what we had i guess, the dream!
Yes it's' hard cos we actually lost a pregnancy, and I always thougth we would be able to try again one day.

We were married for ten yrs, and everyone we knew just could not believe it when he left, hence my real difficulty of letting go, even now 2 yrs on, i still cant understand it.

I posted back the divorce papers today, although It's something I dont want, and never thougth would happen to us.

thanks for your words, they r not harsh.