What arrangements do you have set out for birthdays?

[brandy7]

either in a contact order or an amicable agreement.

any views appreciated, thanks.x

[queenoftarts]

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[brandy7]

mmmm we probably would have an ok relationship if he didnt keep dragging me to court. ds is 2 and from may his father should be starting to have some unsupervised contact. final hearing in august and i want everything sorted out so he wont drag me back to court for xmas/birthdays.

this year ds will be 3 in october on a work day and his father works till 3. my eldest would come in from school at 3.30 and obviously want to see his brother and normally we go to my sisters house which is a lot lot bigger than mine and ds plays with his 3cousins. problem being that sis wont let ex in her house because of the way hes treated me and the eldest

[brandy7]

[brandy7]

[nikkie]

Xh(and what ever family want to ) visit on birthdays.Last year XH didn't come on either b'day although his Mum did.

[brandy7]

thanks nikkie

[quadrophenia]

[brandy7]

hello you!!!! i put a message on the modelling site saying i hadnt seen you around and i have now i know your name. how are you? im being nosey about contact arrangements for birthdays so when i have to battle it out with my twat ex i have a rough idea of whats acceptable.

[Aimsmum]

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[brandy7]

i wish my ex was scared of the courts aimsmumhes intent on making life very hard for me. never mind, when ds is old enough hopefully he'll realise what a twat he is

[Aimsmum]

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[brightwell]

My dc only spend their birthdays with ex-p when it falls on "his" weekend or they are on holiday with him. The eldest is now 12 and has worked out that next birthday she will be with her dad, she's already said she wants to stay at home, so she can see her friends.

[brandy7]

thanks brightwell,thats interesting because my mum said that he shouldnt see ds unless its his "contact" time especially as he continuously takes me to court and wants his piece of contact paper! (his words)

[Surfermum]

My dh's x only used to let him see his daughter if it were "his" weekend or "his" time to phone. It was heartbreaking for him not to be able to see her or speak to her on her birthday.

Thankfully things are much better these days and dh is able to negotiate contact over and above the Court Order. And now dsd is older (11) she is very, very clear that she wants to share things like holidays, Easter, birthdays totally equally and fairly. She's figured out that in the summer holidays she gets 2 weeks with her Dad and 4 weeks with her mum she's asking questions like "why did the Court say that, it isn't fair".

[airy]

We don't have anything through the courts but x sees dd on every one of her birthdays, she'd be hurt if he didn't as I think he would. He comes to us and fits in with our plans. The last couple of years he has brought family with him, his parents, sisters etc, so we have organised a meal out for everyone which dd loved. This year she's having a big party so he'll be coming to that as will his dad I think.

Really it all depends on your realtionship with your ex I think and what you can put up with!

[brandy7]

airy, ive been putting up with himhaving supervised contact in my home 6x a month for 6months! i agree with him seeing on ds birthday, it will be his 3rd.i wouldnt want to not see him. its a case of fitting him in and my family cant stand him cause of all the upset hes caused, be much easier when he has ds unsupervised and he could take him to the park for an hour