My Ex has a new girlfriend ..... why am I bothered?

[Jooki]

I have been seperated from my ex for over 7 months and it was a mutual arrangement, after trying relate and scrapeing the barrel we agreed enough was enough and to both move on.... things have been difficult and go from amicable to horrid daily and I am 100% sure that this is the best decision for me and my amazing son. We would be better parents seperated..... so why am I jealous that he has found a new girlfriend? I started initially thinking that i was happy for him and it may be a positive move forward that he was moving on, but now I feel quite sick, ill, jealous and intrigued about her ...... is this normal?? please i know of nobody else in this situation ..... thanks x

[PeachyClairColouredRoses]

Yeah its normal

My ex and I split over a decade ago have no kids etc yet when I hear he was going to have a baby this wek I was 'but he said he'd never have one!!' and got really annoyed LOL!

Its human nature

[Jooki]

thanks I appreciate it..... they always say one thing and then go and do the other .... he had to go to bed every night at 10pm for 5 years and couldn't go out in the week work was priority.... its amazing he has found some new stamina/energy as he preens off for his dates....

[flightattendant]

Jooki - it's normal I think. When I was left by my first child's father, we had tentative access arrangements and even though I was sooo angry and hurt by the way he had behaved, I could just about deal with it if I knew it was just him I had to deal with.
When he got himself a new girlfriend (actually he had her all along but didn't tell me!) I was freaked right out - not because I wanted him back (I did, but the jealousy was entirely separate) but because I suddenly felt like I was dealing with an 'army' of two, ie. she was involved as well and I wasn't therefore able to predict the best way to deal with him as his responses were now subject to influence from an unknown party. It was really scary and I couldn't handle it at all - I was glad when he decided not to come any more, as although that probably wasn't best for our child, I felt as if I was having to hand my son over to a stranger - well, two strangers, the new girlfriend, and my suddenly 'different' ex.
(I didn't know what he was thinking any more - not helped by the fact he had lied profusely!)
Nobody wants to let their little kid go off with a stranger...makes sense.
I hope you manage to feel Ok again soon and resolve this in your mind...I was lucky and didn't have to deal with ex any more, but still worry that DS misses out.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I was in a similar position and somebody told me that it is like mourning. You are sad over the fact that your dreams have been lost-you had hoped to live happily ever after and ideally bring a baby up with 2 parents. So it is also sadnes over that

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I was in a similar position and somebody told me that it is like mourning. You are sad over the fact that your dreams have been lost-you had hoped to live happily ever after and ideally bring a baby up with 2 parents. So it is also sadnes over that

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[snowwonder]

this is so normal dont beat yourself up over it, you will move on from it just like you have moved on with the other stuff it is like you have to deal with it all seperately, like your first xmas and new year apart....i know i struggled wit these

when i found out he had a women i screamed out my front door, and i mean scream, mainly because it was all so secret and i found out as someone had seen them on a video together,
but i have moved on now it still hurts when i find out she picked dd up from nursery with him last week, only because the nursery girls said we cant believe he left you for her, - but that doesnt ease the pain i dont care what she looks like he still left me and dd's to start a new life with her,

and the things that hurt more are the things they do that we never used to do, but i guess they can as they dont have kids.