Worried any advise people????

[ZoeNbump]

hi just wanted some advise! im due to have my little boy on sunday and am just abit worried about the situation with me n his dad! ive gone through the whole pregnancy without the dad around as he obviously isnt capable of facing up 2 his responsibilities! but i cant help but wonder that the dad mite just appear once baby is here or something! what do i do then? tbh the dad isnt a nice person and not someone i really want around but he is the dad so........ and advise people xx

[ThisTime]

BUMP

[intears1]

bump

[Quootiepie]

If he hasn't faced up to it by now, if you don't want him involved, it's up to you. To be honest, i'd leave him off the birth certificate, sometimes men IMHO go funny, from wanting nothing to do with the baby to trying to get full custody. If you don't want him involved, just distance yourself. I think personally no dad is sometimes better than an awful one, I wouldn't try and establish something just because he is the father. But that is just my opinion on the matter really...

[ipodthereforipoor]

dont register his name on birth cert - dont suppose you want to anyway - but dont even link them - make him do all the running

[MamazonAKAfatty]

Unless you are married you cannot name him on teh BC unless he is present at the registration anyway.

Change your phone nnumber, if he has keys to your home change the locks. Stop all contact with him basicly. the less he knows teh better. this child has figuered very low in his mind so far so with any luck he will continue with his life and forget all about your lovely baby.

Forcing a relationship with a parent that doesn't want to be there is unfair on the child.

[ZoeNbump]

He will not be on the bc! And phone number has already been changed!im just worrying as i know a few guys who have done the same! once baby is born thats when i think the dad will want to be a dad but im not having him screwing with my baby as he has me! i just know that he is not the kind of person 2 give up when he wants something! does he have rights though even if he's not on bc?? xx

[hoolagirl]

Hi, my ex wasn't around for pregnancy and my ds is 2 now and he has never set eyes on him.
If he hasn't shown any interest, you might not see him, but you never know, so you'll need to decide whats in the childs interest, never easy!

[nightowl]

its hard to give an opinion tbh, you dont say why he's not a nice person. Is it just that he's treated you badly or does he pose any kind of risk to you and/or the child for any reason? (apologies if you've posted about him before and i missed the thread/have forgotten it).

[clareandbean]

Hi Zoe,
Well presumably your bump is now a baby so Congratulations.
I was in the same situation as you. Went through the pregnancy with harrassment from my ex, he wanted me to abort, he suggested the baby wasn't his, he made my life hell and then when she arrived turned into a man determined to assert his rights over me and my daughter. It's a struggle but you need to do what is right for you. I personally am of the opinion that no dad is better than a bad dad, but my ex is not a bad person, just irresponsbible, lazy, selfish, drunk! If the father of your baby does turn up he will probably try to bully you and it's hard to be strong with a new baby and all the birth trauma still in your head. So if you don't want him around tell him to go and to put all his requests in writing so that you can consider them properly. Legally it's good to have it all on paper and it also gives you time to consider all your options.
Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.
xx

[ZoeNbump]

hiya nope bumps not a baby yet little buggers being stubborn n doesnt want to come out yet! thanks 4 that bit of advise clareandbean its been a great help! im just going to concentrate on bringing my baby into this world 1st n doing what is best 4 him! xx