What do I do now...

[pinkbear82]

Ok, I know this had probably be done time and time again. But wanted some out side views.

Dd is almost 14 months. Spilt with her dad in march, he was having at least two affairs that I know of. He missed her birth as was in prison. Has other children from previous relations, one he doesn't see at all, the others fairly regularly but often leaves with his parents as he's busy.

Since spilt I have let him see dd weekly, tried for more wasn't working, while we settled visits were with me around, wanted to know he was actually seeing her not leaving with others etc. Had seen solicitor, she had said I was doing everything reasonably and not to worry.

He has been late every week, stays about an hour and has to go, if around meal time never feeds her. Doesn't pay anything regularly for her. Etc etc

Realised he needs to be able to see her on his own, offered to start with an hour to the park or whatever, he showed up today, without a car seat, telling me his other kids were with parents wanted to take her to see them. Ok her tea is around 5 will you be ok with that, his reply you can give it to her when she gets back... Then I said about car seat, my parents have one, but they weren't around today for him to use it.
Suddenly I'm being awkward, he becomes really angry, punches the door and leaves....

I phoned his mum to explain, as didn't want them not getting the full story, (and he left very angry, wanted them to know to make sure he got home ok) they were out and didn't have his other kids. So clearly trust is still an issue.

How do I go forward. I know I can't control what he does with her when it's his time, but I'm beginning to worry even more about letting him have her. He took her out maybe twice when we were together, and so far hasn't done anything to assure me he wants to be her dad.

[SiennaBlake]

Is he asking to see her alone or have you been offering?

[pinkbear82]

He's been asking. I've tried offering solutions to keep us both happy.

[BlackeyedSusan]

phone the police about the punched door. you may need to have that on record at a later date.

if he is punching doors he is not the sortof person you should be encouraging to have a child alone.

[pinkbear82]

Blackeye I had debated doing that... It would add weight to my point should things get nasty again wouldn't it. I feel now tho, the day after it seems vindictive and that I should have done it last night.