So my boy has finished primary school.....

[Shoegal0305]

.....and I honestly didn't realise how 'flat' I would feel.

This last week has been so emotional...... Leavers disco, leavers assembly, and yesterday them all coming out of class with their shirts signed... And the inevitable carrier bags full of all their work.

So it hits me every single summer how alone I feel..... I've been a lone parent since DS was 3 so throughout primary...... Summer hols with a part time income, no money spare to do much, no family and ex living 50 miles away. Everyone it seems is off every single summer on hols and away doing family stuff. But every hol I would take comfort from the familiarity that he was again moving up a year in a small, safe environment that was his primary school...... It was only one class per year so felt 'family like' to me, in the absence of real family!

And now he is venturing onto new territory..... That little safe haven is gone..... The secondary school isn't massive, 5 classes this year for year 7, but huge compared to what he's used to..... All week a lot of us have got emotional but they've all had the support networks around them whereas yet again I'm alone..... His dad hadn't even rang to see how he got on!!!!

Please tell me it gets easier?!! Lol..... My DS is do excited as starting secondary he is one of the oldest in his year so was getting bored and was ready to move on. But I'm finding it so hard that all the kids have been together since they were 4 and now they are splitting up..... Only 2 schools in our area it's been, I'd say, a 40/60 split with 60% going on to the school my son is going too......

[titabeth]

It's tough being a single parent. I brought my DD up as a single mum, initially when M Thatcher was PM, not a picnic! I know that feeling when they go to secondary school. You do not get the same contact with other parents as they are making their own way to school. Would it help to volunteer at his primary school? Maybe you could be a helper? Perhaps get involved with the PTA at his new school? As for holidays, sometimes newspapers do really cheap offers, maybe a tent and camping, or a day trip to the sea. Do not despair, I didn't leave my child alone until she was 12, and then only for an hour with strict instructions not to cook or have a bath. (She could be a bit accident prone) I went to badminton. The first few times she thought I'd been a really long time. But I persevered and after about 6 weeks, she was pleased to be trusted on her own for 2 hours. this was before mobile phones, but I called her from a call box after one hour. We also had neighbours who knew she was alone, who I trusted and who she could go to for help. I think perhaps you need to try and make some time for yourself. My DD is 29 now, and getting married next year, but we are still very close. Talk to his Dad too, try and get some support from him. My daughter's dad eventually became a lot more supportive of both of us.

[Shoegal0305]

Titabeth thankyou for replying. Your comments are helpful...,.. I am going to volunteer for PTA stuff at new school...... Apparently we sll get invited so I will go and get involved. My son has been walking to and from school throughout year 6 on his own. His secondary school is nearer still so that's no problem. Also he goes and plays up on the primary school fields a lot with his pals.... The grounds are lovely, tree shaded and lush so come into their own this time of year. The school make it clear thru don't mind children being there out of hours/during hols but any trouble is on CCTV (not that there is any!) so he will always have that tie there.

I sometimes feel I'm the only single parent on the planet..,... Which I know I'm not!!! It's just my particular 'group' doesn't have many and those that do, have mums/dads/sisters/brothers etc about for support. I'm thinking of going camping we have all the gear, but the older he's getting, the less appealing it is for him just me and him! He gets bored of my company lol!!! I think I'm feeling over-emotional haha I'm sure it will pass it's just I never expected to be a single parent and it's hard bloody work!! Xxxx

[Shoegal0305]

Oh goats I'm sorry to hear this..... Please feel free to vent on here! I feel a lot of support on here

[titabeth]

goats - that sounds really hard. Could you join a babysitting circle if there is one? Also I know it's a daunting prospect but could you move to an area where there is more of a community? There are many organisations and charities that offer help and support to parents of sen children, maybe you could find some help there. You need some life of your own, even if it's only for a couple of hours a week. Good luck.

[titabeth]

Shoegal0305, would it be possible for his Dad to take him away for a weekend? My DD's Dad took her when she was 10 and a half. They struggled a bit, she was upset and couldn't understand why he didn't make a cup of tea the same way mummy made it. But it was a BEGINNING! We all worked through it. By the time she was 14 he took her to France for 2 weeks with one of her friends, and his new wife. Se's 29 now and has a good friendly relationship with her dad. You'll probably spend the whole weekend worrying if it comes off, but it would be a first step to getting some support for you and your DS.