I just need a bit of advice and a splurdge...

[Emmiedarling]

Hello there,

I hope you don't mind me asking you all for your opinions and please do just hit me with them... I'm feeling really, really miserable and very stuck.

I am a 30 year old working three days a week in central London (It's a relatively new position - started in March) I have a very vibrant, hyper active 21 month old son who I adore and we live in SW London in a little 2 bed flat.

I was single whilst pregnant but when my son was six months I met the man I thought I was going to marry. He moved in last September/October and I was very happy building my new family. However, that relationship has now come to an end. I am absolutely heartbroken, incredibly lonely and just managing to get through each day.

My son is also very unsettled as he was very used to my partner as his father figure.

I have zero family in London. I also have zero support. I noticed how bad this was when he moved out and I had no one to turn to...maybe a handful of friends dotted all over the capital but no one to grab a coffee with etc. It was made all the more poignant when son was taken ill at nursery and I had no one to call to get there quicker than i could. I have no back up.. I can't be the only one in this position?

I don't know what to do now. My ex and I were planning to move out of my little flat and buy a house in Surrey. I don't know if I have the confidence or the finances to do that on my own. I have no contacts or support there either. My own parents are north - 5 hours from London. Do i pack up and head back there? My father is very ill and it seems silly to give up my good job to go back?

I feel confused and lonely..

Sorry for the ramble...!

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I didn't go home when I had ds and was left alone but with a few friends who couldn't really help if/when I needed it, so I've done most of it myself. My father was diagnosed with COPD whilst I lived here and I wish I'd have gone home to be honest. He died 6 years ago and I regret not moving back to spend more time with him. I don't think anyone can tell you what to do, but have a think about the quality of life that you have there and what it would be like if you moved home.

Huge hug to you though

[foolsrushin]

Home is where the heart is and you should ask where your heart lies. Can you take extended leave and go home for a while see how you feel then?

[queenofthepirates]

I came home and the change has been enormous, I get time to myself now and my DD can build a relationship with her GPs.

[Emmiedarling]

Thanks for your replies. Queen of the Pirates -do you think its all been for the better then?

I do have a gut feeling that it is not for us.

I love my parents dearly, but really really really.. there is NOTHING up there but them. No work opportunities for me, no social life (yes I can make a new one, but I LOVE have the buzz of London close by even if Im not in the center of it. So much for him to see and do..)

My Mum is convinced I cant cope and its the only option. But I did cope. I coped when My son was a baby, for 6 months.. I can't say it was easy, but I got through it. And surely there's an opportunity for me to meet someone else down here when the time is right?

I cant think i will meet anyone up there in the middle of no where with my elderly parents in a field..!

Oh i sound so negative... :(

[Trooperslane]

I'm not in London but my dd's only living grandparent is a flight away and we have no family and few friends.

I've made quite a few Mummy friends whilst on mat leave which helps.

No advice really op but I do feel your pain.

[Trooperslane]

FFS. I'm not as sad as that!

No family and few friends here, that should read!

[DwellsUndertheSink]

consider joining gingerbread and finding other single parents in the area - then you can be back up for eachother, meet others in the same boat as you - build your own support network in effect! There are thousands of single working parents out there that feel the same as you, don't give up your life, career and independence.