General A - Hole

[littlemissminime]

EX is going to court for contact, except contact isnt good enough and he wants full residence (no longer happens!) In the mean time he REFUSES interim contact because its either "not good enough" doesnt suit him, already got plans, blah blah blah. Contact been put to him by SW. Refused point blank in their prescence too!
Im sick to death of covering his arse to the kids. Im not telloing them he doesnt want them which is blatanlty obvious but Im sick of getting it in the neck and having to lie for him.
What would you do?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Hmm slightly different how I ended up in the situation, but Ex is supposed to be building contact with DD (10). I suggest dates he is unable to able to make them or allocates a ridiculously short amount of time for the contact.
I never directly criticise him with DD, but I am truth. For example he was supposed to attend a contact supervised by his parents he pulled out in advance. DD knew she was going to see him a few days before hand she asked would she him and I said 'No, he is not able to be there'.
I have all the e-mails and if as an older teenager she asks she will be able to read them.
Just a thought the 'his way or no way' of his contact is unlikely to go well in court. I hope you have a nice paper trail of you offering contact and him refusing.

[littlemissminime]

I do have the paper trail, but most importantly, I had the independant witnesses who were in the process of gathering information ready to write a report to court.
I genuinly am sick of lying for his dead beat backside but at the same time dont want to hurt DCs feelings. As much as I want them to know what a shit head he really is, I just think it will hurt their little hearts, what can I say?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I don't actively tell her what he's like, but if she asks I tell the truth minus the abuse obviously. Then I will never be in the wrong for having lied to her.

[BlackeyedSusan]

sound like your description is spot on.

I had to have the conversation, again, as to why daddy does not live in our house.

[starlight1234]

I do think it is very important not to slag him off. ( esp).Not give the kids notice of contact but if he cancels short time and kids know then say Dad has cancelled.

Don't lie. My Ds hasn't seen Dad since 3 and every time question pops up he gets a bit more info . I can build on it as everything is based on the truth. We are a long way from he is a complete abusive wanker who couldn't keep a worm alive ..But I too have copies of all sorts o reports to show him when he is older if he wants to know

[littlemissminime]

I've been keeping it from him so far, short notice cancellations are obviously different ad I do say something has come up but I'm sick of it. Everyday it's te same "when we seeing dad" I just don't know what to say. I don't really like them knowing we're going to court. I hate them thinking its a fight.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I would answer to when are we seeing Dad, I don't know. The truth you don't know.