Separating out a family...

(6 Posts)
firstchoice Wed 25-Jun-14 09:12:48

H and I have been married for 13 years, largely unhappily.
We would have separated many years ago were it not for our two kids, 10 and 7. We have not shared a room for over 6 years and we have no physical or emotional affection whatsoever.

We wish separate formally.
I do not wish to stay in the family home.
It is hard for me to manage with my mobility issues
One of my children is very unhappy and being unsupported at school, with no hope of improvement.

Ideally, we would rent out the family house and rent in the new location to be sure it will be successful before we sell the house (in case the children and I want to return there). Once this house is sold, there wIll not be another one due to money. The children and I would go to the new location alone and H would stay with a colleague in town and visit at weekends.

OR - I would need to claim HB AS A SINGLE PARENT to pay the rent whilst we sell the house. Can H visit to see the children and stay overonce weekly? ( he wil be living nd working 50m away)

DoingItForMyself Wed 25-Jun-14 09:21:10

I think as long as other finances etc are separated and it is clear that you are no longer a couple, then him staying overnight once a week should be ok, but he would have to have his formal paperwork (driving license, payslips etc) registered at his new address to show that he is no longer living with you, otherwise it will just appear that he works away during the week and comes home at weekends, like many other fathers do.

The not sharing a room is a good start as at least there will be no confusion about whether or not he stays in your room in the new house, presumably he will sleep on the sofa or in a spare room (HB will probably only cover a 2 bed house depending on the gender of your children, who may have to share. That's not to say you can't rent a bigger house, but you won't get the rent supplemented for all of it.)

firstchoice Wed 25-Jun-14 10:02:09

Thanks for the reply.

My worry is that he wont have a 'proper' alternative address as he will just be staying with a friend. He cant afford to rent in the city and he wont be able to buy once house is sold (neither of us will). I don't know what he'll do long term.

nomoretether Wed 25-Jun-14 12:48:06

You may not get HB for a rented house if you already own a property, you'd need to check with your council.

firstchoice Wed 25-Jun-14 13:55:52

nomore - I checked.

I would be moving from Scotland to England and the house would immediately be put up for sale.

They said itwould be okay for up to a year - as long as I am trying to sell it. Then it would depend if there was any equity.

DoingItForMyself Thu 26-Jun-14 09:23:14

Well I think if he doesn't have a proper alternative address and puts all his correspondence at the same address as you then you'll be on dodgy ground trying to convince anyone that you're actually single.

Imagine a scenario where a happily married couple want to relocate, they both move away, he stays near work in the week and in the family home at the weekend. All their bank/bills/official documents are at the same address. He snores, so sleeps on the sofa or in the spare room when he's at home.

That's essentially how you will look from the outside.

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