my daughters mum mentally abuses her

(7 Posts)
smudgerxxv Mon 17-Mar-14 10:19:46

I have had custody evey friday to sunday and weeks at a time through the holidays. Me and my fiancee also have a daughter who is 2 yrs younger than my daughter fron my ex. My ex married someone nearly 2 yeard ago and has recently had his child. She has rexently taken it upon herself to tell my oldest daughter that my youngest is only her half sister yet her new arrival is her full sibling. I happen to know they are both classed as half sivlings as they only share one parent therefor 50% dna. I however would not of felt the the need to hieghten my daughters insecurities with this information, let alone deliver it in such a biased manner designed to hurt my youngest daughter upon hearong thos information from my eldest daughter. They are 5 s 7 FFS

Dinosaursareextinct Mon 17-Mar-14 10:30:28

You mentioned mental abuse? A huge exaggeration, surely?
Just explain the facts to your DD1, in a factual, unemotional way.

lostdad Mon 17-Mar-14 10:58:33

It's not nice and not helpful but I am not sure it counts as abuse.

I have attended hearings with this sort of thing and the judge has said a) it needs to stop and b) it is just a statement of fact and means nothing at all.

It may be worth ignoring it.

smudgerxxv Mon 17-Mar-14 11:21:09

I understand ure points on exaggeration in the context of one statement. However im in my 7th year of this behavior ranging from her telling my daughter I dont care about her as much as my youngest to with hloding her from me for 3 months to moving her to new schools without telling me and telling her her stepdad doesnt love them when shes had an argument with him. ( I actually dont mind the stepdad as he seems a decent guy) . I grew up myself with a mother similar to this who to date has not seen either of my daughters for 5 years due to the fact she tried to convince me my dad didnt care about me. Guess what? My dads the only human on this planet whos word I would take over my own. Cos he earned it every sunday for 16 years in the face of adversity. I wasnt seeking an answer with original post just venting. I take great comfort out of my own experience with my parents and believe when it comes to children they never forget and if u abuse that priveledge then u will suffer in the long run. Peace

EminorSuspended Thu 20-Mar-14 20:52:18

The only thing you can do really is ignore it. If your dd asks about it just reassure her you love her and don't dwell on it.

As you said your own mum wasn't straight about things but despite it you're solid with him.

Just concentrate on your daughter and she'll make her own mind up independent of her mother.

I feel sorry for your daughter though.

Only alternative is to go for custody.

EminorSuspended Thu 20-Mar-14 20:53:10

Him = your dad

balia Sat 22-Mar-14 14:04:56

Funny, my DSS's mum said the exact same thing to him when our new baby arrived; that his older half brother (her son) was his 'proper' brother, and my son was 'nothing to do with' him. (And she withheld contact for 3 months after the birth) 7 years later they are as close as two siblings can be; DSS is wonderful with his little brother. I think you are right, smudger they work things out in their own time. Thanks to the court order DH had to fight tooth and nail for, DSS has a great relationship with his Dad and knows that the hurtful things his mum says aren't true.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now