single older parent with teenagers...anyone else?

(11 Posts)
smileyforest Tue 25-Feb-14 22:59:08

2 boys 16/18 nearly...work full time +....still have big mortgage...just taken lodger in...to help finances...I get so down at times as always working! Boys desperate for part-time jobs...but none about....Dad offers no support as he is mature student doing PGSE...married again and never has supported anyway...I get so, so tired! Im 53....never ending!!

thornrose Tue 25-Feb-14 23:04:39

I'm 47 with a 14 yo daughter. I get no support as dd's dad (ex p) died. I rent and worry about our long term security.

My dd has some issues which could make it difficult for her to get a job so realistically I'll be supporting her for quite some years. Not sure how that will work on one income!

STIDW Wed 26-Feb-14 16:16:34

I know what you mean about the tiredness. By the time our children reached 18 years of age I was exhausted but if you can hang on in there it does get better.

LetZygonsbeZygons Wed 26-Feb-14 17:19:54

Im 48 with a 13 year old with disabilities so im her lifelong carer.

yes its a struggle both financillay (have to rely on benefits) and physically and mentally!

guess none of us thought itd get to this eh?

wed be the ages we are and the situations were in.

OP can your boys try voluntary work or work experience? my friends son did that and they were so pleased with him they then offered him a paid job!

smileyforest Wed 26-Feb-14 21:47:18

Yes Let...they will do voluntary work if they have to...good experience....just dread the long Summer hols and the boredom..can't afford a holiday this year...No...didn't expect to get to this age and still be working full time + and on my own....BUT I have health and a job where there will always be work...so i need to be grateful for that.....and I'm happy to be free of an abusive marriage...just some days it 'gets to me'....smile)))

Jellykat Wed 26-Feb-14 22:14:49

I know how you're feeling, having been a LP for 25 years.. i'm 50, plus Peri menopausal with Osteoarthritus/Tendonitus and Hypermobility in my ankles and feet. Work in a job which demands i'm on my feet 8 hours a day, agony.
My house is literally breaking around me, and although DS1 (25) has left home, keeping DS2 on track with his GCSEs is tough going... Especially atm as we have a mate of his staying because his mum's thrown him out.

I was in tears this morning, just so tired.. Can't keep on top of everything atm sad I need a break badly, but last 'holiday' was over 10 years ago.!

inthename Fri 28-Feb-14 23:37:54

42 with a 12yr old. No, never imagined life would turn out like this, though ds slung his arms round me this evening and told me I'm lovely, so it must be true!

ShineyBlackShoes Sun 02-Mar-14 18:29:44

47, been a lone parent for 13 years. Mum to a 21 and 19 year old; youngest at Uni, eldest unsucessfully job hunting. Work full time and exhausted.
Fed up with everything as there seems no end in site so with you OP

antimatter Sun 02-Mar-14 22:49:39

47, dd 16 doing her GCSE's , so stress level at home is high at times
ds 14
I work full-time & am on call some weekends
it's hard, I hope it will get easier at some point
their dad is helping financially so that is no worry for me

BitchyHen Sun 02-Mar-14 23:04:35

I'm 39 with dc aged 11, 13 &16 and I work with teenagers.
I've been a l.p. for three years now and I'm fed up with well meaning people telling me I need a nice man. They can't believe that I'm happier on my own.
Dcs dad doesn't contribute financially and only sees them for an hour or two each week.
I get tired, but weirdly I find going out in the evening and spending time with adults helps, I think it's boredom that makes me so tired.

smileyforest Mon 03-Mar-14 22:46:03

Its feels lonely sometimes as I have no friends that I can relate to in the same situation. They have remarried (most were divorced) and are financially well off...children are older etc...I have older adult children too...they are OK and working and have partners....its my boys ..that cause me to worry....finding jobs is not easy...one at college and one doing gcse's.....I am happy living by myself...do have a partner,,,but don't live together and don't wish to until my boys are independent...so quite a few years yet!! Yes I do on call and work extra w/e's because its good money but the weekend just gone I did a double shift...and ended up crying with exhaustion((: .......but boys Dad offers no support whatsoever...(:

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