I'm looking for some thoughts about a couple of issues that have arisen with the dc's Dad over the weekend. As there's a loooong history of us disagreeing on parenting I just want to see whether others think these things are an issue worth taking further...
Staying contact used to be half holidays and one full weekend a month. This has gradually reduced and the DC now stay one night a month. Partly reduced as Ex-h started working, but he is now not working again and hasn't asked to increase again! I was pleased that it reduced as the dc (8, 6 & 4) don't get bathed and the girls hair doesn't get brushed so they were coming back a real state after 2-4 nights.
DS (8), was getting dressed this morning. Pulled his trousers up half way over his bottom and then said 'I won't wear my trousers like this cos I'll look like I want sex'. I was , and asked where he'd heard that (we do live in a roughish area so I thought it was probably from school). DS explained that his older half brother (12) had been wearing his jeans like that at the weekend, and his Dad had told him that prisoners in America wear their trousers like that to let other people know they want sex. DS was in the room and overheard the conversation.
DD1 (6), shared a bed with her oldest half brother (14) this weekend despite me repeatedly asking for this not to happen. Ex-h has a bunk bed + a single bed in the dc's room. This is for 5 dc (ex-h's boys who are 14 & 12, plus my 3). I asked at Christmas for my dds not to share with the older boys any more. I think that at 14, boys probably start having wet dreams, morning erections etc, and I don't think having a little girl in bed with them is a good idea. I've asked for the girls to share, and for ds to share with younger half brother, and also offered for my DC to take sleeping bags.
The DC have also told me that they went to the pub with their Dad on Saturday. Their version is that Ex-h was in one room drinking beer, and they were in a different room, with some other children ands adults they don't know,watching a DVD. DD (4), said she wanted to look for her Dad but that the grown ups she was with told her she had to stat with them. None of the DC seem sure who these people were, or whether their Dad knows them.
I rang Ex-h this morning...told him it was inappropriate to have the conversation about sex in front of DC, that I was unhappy about dd sharing a bed with HB again and asked who he'd left the DC with in the pub. His response (as per usual), was that I shouldn't ask the DC about what happens at his house as it's none of my business, that what he does with his children is fuck all to do with me, and that I'm hardly a perfect fucking parent am I. Also criticised me for leaving the DC with my sister and at a creche this week while I was working (I've worked 2 half days out of the whole half term).
So, am I over reacting? If not, what should I do now?
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Am I over reacting?
15 replies
ballstoit · 24/02/2014 10:33
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