New member in the North West

[rose1976]

I am trying to re establish my life after leaving the South West of England to regress to my original routes here! However when I left I was a single 23 year old girl who fell head over heals for a Gloucestershire man. I am now returning here after six years, however now I have two beautiful children (boy eldest then girl). They are my life, however now their Father sees them most weekends, I am left with time on my hands, time that I would rather have with my children anytime. However I now have to hand them over to their father who has physically and mentally abused me for at least the past four years, even though the court has been informed about this, they still think that he has the right to take the children away from me. Now he is poisoning the mind of my four year old son in so many ways, ie telling him that I took him away from his Daddy just because I am selfish and wanted to live closer to my family, I am doing this to hurt his Daddy and that when he is old enough to tell people that he will be able to go back and live with his Daddy, he then said "Don't worry Mummy, will still live with you ( being his younger sister), which leaves to the conclusion that my suspitions where right all along and that he favours his son over his daughter. How can any one be so cruel? I love both my children equally and would never want to or hope that I am never in the situation where I would have to choose between them. However he obviously finds it very easy.

I feel so let down with the whole system, has anyone else experienced the same?

I have read a few messages from other single Mums. It must be hard meeting some one else. At the moment, meeting someone else is not really on my list of priorities, however I do panick that I will never meet anyone else, this does scare me for the future as I find it very hard to understand that anyone else will want me, especially since my ex has done such a good job of making me feel ugly and worthless and still is able to do so as even though I want no contact with this man what so ever, the courts have made it very hard for me to carry on with my life.

People tell me that I will meet some one else dut to my personality, I feel that as I am such a bad judge of character that I will only meet useless men any way.

Is there any one else out there and feeling the same? Experiencing the same?

Please let me know and if you cope with this, let me know how to!!!

Many thanks

[Beauregard]

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