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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

I know I'm unreasonable, but not sure I can cope!

29 replies

rickman · 05/07/2006 21:15

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BigBoaby · 05/07/2006 21:18

Aw Rickman that sounds awful. I'm at the very start of this journey and I'm already dreading moments like that. You do what you have to do IMHO.... Your dd sounds very level headed anyway.

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BigBoaby · 05/07/2006 21:18

'scuse the name change.... playing on the male pseudonym thread!!! (its Toothy).

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Amanda1 · 05/07/2006 21:26

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charliecat · 05/07/2006 21:29

Go and stand with your friends, you really dont even need to acknowledge hes there. He might not even turn up.

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Roger · 05/07/2006 21:35

Im with Amanda1 on this one. I'd go just to p*ss him off completely by showing him that I don't care.
I'd be a bit wary of telling your dd that you won't go if he is there. Sounds like you are unintentionally making her choose.
But then I don't see my X at all so do what you think is best for all of you.

BTW Its Spursmum, I am also playing on the bloke thread

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sheepgomeep · 05/07/2006 21:57

I know how you feel and how hard it must be for you. I too dreaded moments like this and luckily they have been few and far between.

I still have to clench my fists and grit my teeth when ex and bimbobitch drop the kids off on a sat sometimes and have to listen to her talking to the kids when all I want to do is leap over the hedge and rip her throat out

like others have said, I would go too, stand with a few friends as far away as possible, hold your head up high and pretend you really don't care (easier said than done I know)

good luck

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rickman · 05/07/2006 21:59

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SecurMummy · 05/07/2006 22:04

Oh Rickman - these situations are just so hard arn't they

You know you said too much to DD - but we have all done that on occasion - I did it last week

I don't have any wonder advice - other than to agree that holding your head high and not allowing it to make you lose out on these things with your dd.

But I know how hard that is.... I do feel for you, it is rotten.

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rickman · 05/07/2006 22:07

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SecurMummy · 05/07/2006 22:08

One of the things that I really think is important is that sometimes you just have to be Mum and Dad for your children - no matter how much it kills you to do it.

They need to know that - when it really matters to them you will do what they need.

Easier said than done

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rickman · 06/07/2006 10:18

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Bozza · 06/07/2006 10:26

Good luck for this afternoon rickman. It is hard to think when you are put on the spot like that isn't it? Have you a friend who will be there who you can confide in, who might be supportive?

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rickman · 06/07/2006 10:30

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Bozza · 06/07/2006 10:52

Can't you let her? And then when it is time to go, get your friend to go and get her? How old is she?

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rickman · 06/07/2006 11:03

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Bozza · 06/07/2006 11:06

She's not too little then. I think it would be OK. Maybe give her a little talk beforehand about not leaving the school without you.

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lastrolo · 06/07/2006 11:27

my xdp used to pull stunts like this and turn up with stunning blondes at every chance, and if not make me look like a complete twat by going ott hugging and kissing dd and telling everyone how proud he was, but everyone could see just how pathetic he was and now the shoe is on the other foot i am now happily married dd calls my dh daddy and when he comes to our town (i moved 250 miles away) he just doesnt fit in with dd new life and nobody falls for his tears when he says goodbye not even dd. she is 5. Keep your head up and show him you dont give a shit who he brings it is your patch so mark your turf.

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nellie245 · 06/07/2006 11:33

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Bugsy2 · 06/07/2006 11:40

Really feel for you Rickman, as I've been here too. I find I just have to grit my teeth & surround myself with all my school friend mums & ignore the irritating ex-H as far as possible.
I loathe going to school things if ex-H is going to be there, but I force myself to think that this is not about me, its about my children. I get incredibly stressed about it, but I hold it together for them & then have a meltdown in the evening when they are in bed!!!
Big hugs to you - I hope it will be less awful than you imagine.

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Caligula · 06/07/2006 11:51

No advice just sympathy. Maybe he won't bring bimbobitch. Or maybe she'll be intelligent and sensitive enough to realise that she doesn't belong there - there's no way I'd turn up to the sports day of a child of a relatively new boyf, maybe she'll know not to.

Hope it goes OK.

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SKYTVADICT · 06/07/2006 11:53

Good Luck for this afternoon! Chin up and all that the others have said.

LOL at Sheepgomeep "ex and bimbobitch" as have exactly the same situation. Luckily new DP is now always with me when we have to be civil to them and he does that quite well as he thinks they did him a favour!

Will be thinking of you this afternoon Rickman.

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fairyfly · 06/07/2006 11:57

Rickman it will get easier, you will not care if you see him or her. It will just take time.

Put on a brave face today and hide any feelings for when you get back.

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SecurMummy · 06/07/2006 19:34

Hi hun, hope it went well as could be expected for you all - and dd did well and had fun.

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rickman · 06/07/2006 22:18

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SecurMummy · 07/07/2006 11:27

I am glad it went well enough - sounds like he felt pretty uncomfortable in the end anyway!

Our sportsadys are something liek that - you watch them do a variety of activites, following them as they go. All the children seem to love it so I keep my thoughts to myself!

Thank you for letting us lend you an ear at a rough time. hope you don't get another one too soon.

SM xx