I am not feeling sorry for myself honest, buut

[Ghostsgowoooh]

Ive been thinking a lot about who I have in mt life and I've just realised that apart from my mum who is steadily going a bit senile there is no other adult who truly does care. I have no extended family at all, no siblings, well 2 adopted out half bros who have no contact.no aunts uncles or cousins or grandparents.

When my mum goes it will just be me and the 4 dc. Friends have their own families.

Its so hard. Mum often forgets my name or my kids.

My birthday and xmas are always hard. I get nothing from no one. I am everybodys after thought

Sigh. I am feeling sorry for myself aren't I. But it's horrible when you see people having a good time with partners and their families, having meals out and having a laugh. My kids have already said to me that they find it weird that I have no family.

[missinglalaland]

Ouch!

When I was a kid my parents got divorced and my dad left the country. My mom's parents were both dead and her only brother was far away. I can remember trying so hard as a kid to even get to the shops, so as the oldest with a little pocket money, I could buy her something at Xmas. Whatever I had always looked so small in her limp, nearly empty stocking in the morning.

I think the situation with your mother may be even harder.

As teenagers and young adults we grew up and left her. She was strong enough to encourage us to go out and grab life, not to sit around worrying about her, and perhaps we wouldn't have anyway. Kids are selfish like that! We both live far away from mom now, but we love her, call her and send her plane/train tickets. There is no one I love and respect more in the world.

Keep involved in life, keep reaching out, keeping lending a hand to other people. It's never too late to make new friends, new relationships, new connections. I don't think you have to force it, but if you want it, it will come your way.

[BlackeyedSusan]

don't you take yourr children to tesco/asda/town to buy something then pretend not to look and see it while you pay for it?

of course you are feeling a bit sorry for yourself as it is not meant to be like that. it is doubly tough ith you mum getting poorly as well now. things do not alays stay the same though. things may change in the future. not much help now though.

[mammadiggingdeep]

:( sorry youre feeling sad....
No advice but a hug. Just think how great you're family will be in years to come though.....4 kids, partners, grandchildren......you'll never get a minute to yourself!!!! Hang in there x

[Ghostsgowoooh]

Ah thanks to you all for your lovely words.

I do have friends and we all get along fine and have great timess but they are in relationships and big families.
But come xmas or birthdays its then I feel it.

It wouldn't occur to me to buy a present from the kids, I'm not that important, their happiness is paramount.

My older dc upset me so much last xmas, they bought their father, his mum, his sister and the girlfriend a pressie with their pocket money but forgot me. And then just shrugged.

Ah well.