Ex has been gone 8 months. We have 2 dcs - 5 and 2.
Since he went, he sees the kids on average once a week (no pattern to visits, he works shifts and will never arrange anything until the last minute). Most visits are on a week night so he will turn up at 7pm, do bath time for them both and put one dc to bed - I have to do the other. Occasionally he will come at the weekend and take them down the road to the park - he never takes them any further, and doesn't ever suggest doing anything different with them. So, I never get a real break.
I work Monday - Thursday in a job that I really need to put extra hours into. I often work when the kids are in bed.
I feel stretched beyond belief, no family nearby and while I'm making friends through the kids, it's a slow process. I just need a few hours of peace once in a while. I am so grumpy to the kids, and they deserve so much more. I am sitting here putting off doing anything with them today as I am just shattered.
Ex is off work today, and I asked him on Tuesday if he would be coming to spend time with the kids so I could actually get out and do something today. He agreed, but when I asked him last night what time he'd be round, her said it wouldn't be til after 3 as he has things to do. I hate that he is the only person who can give me a break - I'm sure he uses it as the last bit of control he can exert over me.
So, if anyone has been in a similar position, do you ever stop wishing for time off? Do you just get used to it eventually - I know it's already improved loads for me, but I'm not sure I will ever get used to no break at all. Or should I be trying to find a way to get a break - though not sure how. Not sure I can justify getting a babysitter just so I can sleep or read!
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If your ex doesn't have the kids for any length of time, do you ever stop yearning for a break?
23 replies
marryinhaste · 19/05/2013 11:07
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