Easter Holiday Access

[gingerbiskit]

Hi, I just wondered what others do in this situation: my ex has the children every other weekend. According to the contact order, he is entitled to have the children for a week during the Easter holidays. What would normally be his weekends with the children fall on the weekends at each end of the two week Easter holiday. He is saying that the holiday starts on the Monday after the first weekend, and that he wants the children for the first weekend (which includes Easter Sunday), and the last weekend, as it is his weekend, as usual, and that if I refuse, he will take me to court (and he will). The way I see it, the holiday starts on the Saturday and finishes on the Sunday at the other end of the holiday. I was hoping to split the holiday down the middle, so that we each get an equal amount of time with the children. Does anyone else have this problem? 

[PatriciaHolm]

Slightly confused. When exactly does he want them? He is entitled to both weekends (sat/sun) plus a week; so I would have thought that meant mon-fri as well. So he will have them sat 30/31, then the week 1-5, back to you 6-12, him 13/14. So he has them 7 days, then you have them 7 days, then back to his normal weekend. How does your interpretation differ?

[gingerbiskit]

Ok, but I would have thought that during holiday periods, the usual 'every other weekend' business is put on hold. Surely there needs to be some flexibility (without being threatened with going to court), as quite often, if you're going away, it's Saturday to Saturday?

[PatriciaHolm]

Well yes in a perfect world there would be flexibility where needed, so if you wanted to book a week away you would negotiate a sat-sat arrangement for that week. However, if there is no specific reason - no booked holidays - I see no reason why the existing arrangement shouldn't stand. Otherwise the arrangements would be changing every few weeks given half terms and holidays etc. for example, what happened at half term? Did you split that down the middle?

[Pinkshaman]

Weekends stand and the holidays are added on to them. I'd be looking for him to have them from Good Fri until the following Fri and then back to him the Fri after that.

I really wouldn't quibble over a few days, unless there was something I wanted to do. And it's definitely not worth going to court over. I'd be making the most if a few extra child free days.

[lostdad]

After the long court fight and the long court order we now have that details contact to avoid `confusion' between me and my ex we back it up with a year planner.

When we do that we realise there are bits that whilst fitting with the court order don't actually make sense and usually end up agreeing (it's hard to believe after the fight) that it's easier to chop and change a little to make things simpler - which is what we should have done in the first place. We do this at the end of the year for the next one, complete with times and handover locations. It works even though it is via email and she refuses to speak to me.

So I would recommend you do something similar - print up a year planner, mark the upcoming year up, email it to him and ask if he agrees.

It works!

[ladydeedy]

dont forget you see your children far more than he does. So why wouldnt you think it acceptable for him to have half the holiday time? C
urrently he sees them 2 days out of 14. You see them 12 days out of 14. I wouldnt quibble over the days and in fact realise it's great he wants to spend more time with them. A lot of NRPs dont, and in part after years of battling with a resident parent who makes it a minefield.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

I think he should have them from the start of his usual weekend too. Given his children are already awy from him 12 days out of 14 term time its highly unfair to remove his weekend access as you dont like how it falls. Imagine you only got to see them for 4 days a month and put yourself in his place.

[MisForMumNotMaid]

Could you say he gets Easter this time, you get Christmas then next year other way around?

I have a system similar to lostdad,( he's not my ex because we didn't go to court). I write down my understanding of the next 6 months access visits, phone calls and handovers. Email the list to XH, we usually make a few amends because of holidays, birthdays etc then we pretty much work to list.

I put this list on the family calendar and everyone knows where they stand, unless the DC are ill in which case they get left with me but thats another story!

[STIDW]

Of course you can agree between yourselves what you want. With contact orders regular contact is generally suspended during the school holidays which start at the end of the last day of term.

[balia]

DH recently went back to court for holiday contact and it was ordered that the term-time weekend contact be suspended during holidays, when there was to be 50/50. So this Easter DH will be picking DSS up on friday morning and returning him on the middle Saturday - he's then with his Mum for the 2nd week, and the weekend pattern starts up again the following weekend. I think it depends if the court order is half holidays or specifies the amount of extra time with Dad for holidays. What does it actually say?