Hi I was wondering what people think about this or what arrangements others have in place (though their own agreements or a court order)
My ex and I have a reasonably good co-parenting relationship and are able to work though most things ok.
At the moment our agreement for DD (5 in year 1 at school) and DS (2) is that he has them from 9.30ish Sat morning til 5pm Sunday. He also has them on a Wednesday afternoon.
We are just about to start making the Wednesday an overnight instead starting next week. I think It will all work ok though DD can show resistance to going to his as I work Mon-Thursday and she doesn't feel like we get enough time together. I think she normally ends up being quite happy once she is there.
I want to take things gradually and see how this works for a month or 2 before moving on - whilst being keen to promote a good relationship between them.
We are talking about making the weekend a proper weekend, so 2 nights instead of 1. I am fine with it providing things are working well with the Wednesday nights. Like most of us I do have some feelings of sadness about seeing them less but I am putting those to one side and trying to work on whats best for everyone.
Am i right in thinking most weekend arrangements start on Friday tea time and end on a Sunday tea time ? That is my understanding and something that I am completely fine with. Ex is not however and wants it to be Saturday morning and then he drops then at school /CMs on a Monday morning. His reason being that he is normally busy at work on a Friday and often has to stay late (didn't seem to when we were married) and that they are always alll cosy and settled on a Sunday night and never want to leave.
My thinking is that It should be Friday to Sunday. I think there is something about them being at home, settled on a Sunday night when they haven't seen me all weekend (we really don't spend much time together at all in the week - hurrying them along in the mornings - out the door by 7.45 and evenings - home at 6.30 and bed at 7.30/8) . My DD is can be a bit insecure and clingy and on his arrangements she goes til the Monday night without seeing me. He is also very forgetful - clothes are always left places , home work not done and bags all over the place - I just don't think it will work.
It does suit him better (work, going out on Fridays I suspect though he obviously hasn't given that as a reason) but I honestly don't think it will suit the kids better. Or am I being unreasonable? Most contact agreements are, as I understand Friday to Monday and I assuming there is a good reason for this ? If so what is it ? -When I bring this up he slaps it down and says 'I don't care what other people do - this is about us'... I can gaurentee that if most contact agreements were the way that he wants to be doing this then he would be using exactly that argument.
Please let me know what works for you and why ?
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Hi - please tell me how you do this between you and you ex if applicable?
20 replies
Seth · 29/01/2013 12:38
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