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From a father - DD's bf

9 replies

arviragus123 · 25/01/2013 10:11

Hello - I am a single dad with a 16 yr old DD. She has a new boyfriend who I have just met. I don't know whether I am being too picky, but he doesn't seem to be good enough for her. We've always been very close, but since she met this new boy she barely talks to me. I've confronted her about my issues with him (very nicely!) and she just closes up and says she's 'IN LOVE' and she hopes to marry him when she's 17!!! Please help me! I need someone to tell me how to talk to her!

OP posts:
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TomDudgeon · 25/01/2013 10:22

She can't marry until she's 18 without your consent. (Assuming you're in the UK)
Two years is a long time to a teenager. I would give it a chance and see what happens at least that way you won't alienate her. Chances are they won't last until she's 18 anyway

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Peterpan101 · 25/01/2013 16:22

Your daughter will never be good enough for anyone...mine certainly won't.

Be her friend by being available to talk.

Tom has the answer, suddenly become old fashioned and tell her it's "too young to marry".

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stargirl1701 · 25/01/2013 16:24

I would encourage the relationship. Invite him round for dinner, out to the cinema, to go for a walk, etc. Talk about him really positively.

For a teenage girl at 16 this will be the kiss of death Smile

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Peterpan101 · 25/01/2013 16:28

Make him your best friend?? Genius!!

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colditz · 25/01/2013 18:13

Make him adore you. Make him your best pal. Invite him everywhere, invite him to walk the dog, drag him off to wherever you do a hobby and make him help you.

She'll hate him after two weeks of that.

I dates a fucking idiot when I was 16. Mum invited him for dinner every single night, and pig that he was, he wouldn't miss it. I dumped him pronto!

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queenofthepirates · 25/01/2013 18:26

Make him your best friend and suggest you grow matching beards.

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chocolatecakeystuff · 25/01/2013 20:56

Again all of the above. Not something a dad wants to think of but is there any way to encourage her to have 'safe sex' I know she's only 16 but as a teenager it might not be something that will cross her mind.
At 16 she'll think she's in love regardless, as long as she's happy & careful just let her enjoy it .x

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DontmindifIdo · 25/01/2013 21:01

It's always "forever" at 16. It very, very rarely is.

Invite him over, get to know him, any sports you have in common? Make him your friend. Nothing more irritating than watching your bf and dad sat drinking a couple of beers discussing the cricket on the TV and ignoring you...

But yes, safe sex talk needed again, point out she's not just got to worry about getting pregnant.

plus she might want to marry him at 17, has he actually proposed? she might be doing a good job of scaring him off herself...

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candr · 25/01/2013 21:09

Very normal I am afraid but good that you met him. I rarely let my parents meet bf when I was younger mainly as I knew they were unsuitable. If she is happy to see him at your house at least you know where she is and it sounds like he is not a complete looser. She has to go through a few frogs so frogs that are not too bad are a godsend really. Just be there for her when they break up (but don't slag him off when that happens as she may just give him a second chance but will not talk to you about it if you have been horrible about him) Right of passage for you both.

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