Anyone relocate with a teen?

[mmelody]

Hi, I have a DD 13 DS 10 months. DP and I would love to emigrate to NZ but of course DD is mortified at the idea. She is bright, a good girl with a lovely friendship group and is doing wonderfully at school. She sees her Dad about once a fortnight but more out of duty than wanting to spend any time with him and his family (evil girlfriend)

She is incredibly mature for her age and we have had many conversations with her about the possibility of moving abroad.. We have finally agreed that we would travel to NZ at the end of next year and plan to stay there for a year as a kind of 'suck it and see thing'

DD has kind of resigned herself to this but im not sure if she really believes it will happen. I just have this nagging doubt that she is a really bad age to be doing this... but then if we wait any longer it would be worse I suppose.. It just feels like she is on the verge of all the social stuff here with her friends and I would be dragging her away...
Anyone got any experience of emigrating with a teen?

[beansmum]

I think you either have to go for good, or stay put. Going for a year would be really difficult. I grew up in NZ but my dad did a job swap with someone in Scotland for 9 months when I was 12 and it was horrible. I didn't feel settled at all and then when we went back to NZ people had made new friendships and it was hard trying to slot back in.

[lilyloo]

my niece went last year , she was 14 then and dreaded the idea
however she absolutely loves it, more than her mum and stepdad and when they have talked of coming home she is mortified.

[mckenzie]

My sister went to Australia when my nephew was 13 and my neice was 9. They both settled in fine and if anything, it was the making of my nephew. He was a bit 'nerdish' in the UK (not to me but as far as his school mates were concerned) and so he lacked confidence but once in Australia, he was the 'cool' kid with the Pommie accent and he is now one hell of a great guy with oodles of confidence. Of course it might have happened here anyway but somehow I doubt it. Incidently I think it also helped that he got away from his biological father who is unfortunately a bit of a drain on my nephew.

[RustyBear]

A friend at work emigrated to Australia when her DD was 13 - her DH was on a contract for (I think) 3 years. Her DD really didn't want to go, hated the idea - but when they came back on a visit a year or so later she'd totally changed her mind - the contract's now been extended so they will be coming back when she is 18, but she now wants to stay on & go to university there, even after her family have come back.

You could remind your DD that she can still keep in touch with friends via email, MSN & web cams - even with the time difference they ought to be able to find a time - my teenagers seem to be pretty much nocturnal anyway!

[artichokes]

My mum and I emmigrated to the USA when I was 15 and she got re-married. I was dead against the move before hand and for the first 3 months I maintained she had ruined my life. But soon I got stuck into making friends and I had a brilliant few years.

I would move permanently not with a trial period. Had I thought there was a trial period I wouldn't have let go of home and I would not have tried as hard to make friends in the US.

[mmelody]

Thanks for the replies I feel more confident that we are making the right decision.

[sunnydelight]

We arrived in Sydney last year a month before DS1's 14th birthday. He LOVES it here. Yes, of course he was apprehensive about moving away from his friends but he has made new friends, loves the fact that he was able to choose "beach bootcamp" as his sports option last term, we have a pool, etc. etc. He is doing better at school than he ever did in the UK.

Everyone said that it was a very difficult age to move him, but to be honest it was much harder with DS2 (8 at the time). As has already been said though, I think if you move them at this age you really need to see through their high school education. Systems are different and I think it would be very difficult for your daughter to move for a year, then move back again. Yes, of course people do it but I don't think it's ideal. Apart from anything, if she feels "it's only a year" I think that's less incentive to throw yourself into the whole adventure. Good luck