I have seen a few threads discussing the minefield of issues around people staying with you when you live abroad. I would like to know how you handle the planning process before the trip. How do you agree a period of time convenient to you? How do you negotiate the stresses and strains, particularly when communication between both parties may not be very open or easy? Do you just grin and bear it and say yes to everything that is put to you or do you attempt to have some control over how often and for how long people stay? If so, how might you word your point of view?
The bit below is optional! - To give some background to my own situation:
I have a very difficult relationship with my mum. 6 months ago, I moved abroad with my dh and 3dcs. In that time, she has visited twice. The first visit was planned quite late in the day and she stayed for just over a week. It was nice of her to come as I had been quite ill and although we irritated each other, it was good to have an extra pair of hands now and then. It actually made more work in other ways but anyway...
The second visit came a couple of months later. She mentioned that she wanted to visit. I said that it would be OK and talk to dh about when might be the best time. I received an email a day later to tell me which flights she had already booked! This time, it was for 10 days, which was way too long.
I know that she wants to come over again but I just find it all very difficult. I want her to see the dcs but it's all so very uncomfortable and hard for me. I become extremely wound up before and after any interaction with her. It is making me feel stressed just writing this.
I am hoping that I do not come across as too unappreciative. Please be assured that there is a long and genuinely twisted history behind my less-than-ideal familial relationships!
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Living overseas
Visitors: how do you negotiate visits before they happen?
12 replies
marjean · 12/03/2013 14:35
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
21/03/2013 00:30
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