My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Life-limiting illness

Feel cheated

16 replies

Ludoole · 02/08/2014 01:31

Almost 3 weeks ago we were told my soulmate had bowel cancer which has spread to his liver and lymph nodes.
He had surgery to remove his lower bowel and now has a permanent stoma.

We've been told he is stage 4 and life expectancy is 6 months to 5 years.

We are being as positive as we can but tonight it has hit me that we wont grow old together. I feel desperately cheated and im struggling to see how I will go on without him at my side.

Hes been my best friend since I was 18 (20 years) and we finally got together 8 years ago.

Hes my everything and I cant keep him safe.

OP posts:
Report
Selks · 02/08/2014 02:15

I'm so sorry Thanks

Report
AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 02/08/2014 02:18

Oh my. How devastating. I cannot imagine. Flowers Sad

Report
Ludoole · 02/08/2014 02:22

Selks Thankyou Thanks
I wish I could swap with him.
Id gladly give my life for his. He's amazing and he is my superhero.

OP posts:
Report
Ludoole · 02/08/2014 02:25

I have 2 boys who arent his although I wish they were as they love him so much.
He really is a beautiful soul.
How can this happen to someone so wonderful?

OP posts:
Report
Ludoole · 02/08/2014 02:36

Hes absolute skin and bone.
He used to have a lovely pot belly Smile and he dropped to 11 stone 3 weeks ago. Hes now 9 stone and I can count his ribs and vertebrae...

Still fancy the skinny little arse off him though Grin

OP posts:
Report
Ludoole · 02/08/2014 02:43

Sorry. Im waffling on.
I just want people to know how incredible he is. I cant share anything with people in real life and I need to be positive for my man.

OP posts:
Report
wantacatplease · 02/08/2014 03:27

So sorry to hear this.

Report
Selks · 02/08/2014 03:33

He sounds wonderful, OP. The time you have with him is very precious. Wishing you all some lovely, happy times together. X

Report
fanjodisfunction · 02/08/2014 08:15

he sounds amazing and you and your kids are so lucky to have him in your lives.

life can be so unfair.

Report
dozily · 02/08/2014 08:18

Why can't you share anything in real life? You could do with some support right now x

Report
twentyten · 02/08/2014 08:28

So very sorry. Do get some rl support- Macmillan and make every moment count. Take millions of pics.ThanksThanks

Report
Ludoole · 02/08/2014 15:33

Dozily
I cant share in rl as my mum is dealing with my dad who has Alzheimers and Vascular dementia. I cant add to her worries anymore.
My best female friend has slipped away since she met and married her fella recently and my extended family arent interested.

Thankyou all for listening. It helps to get it out Thanks

OP posts:
Report
twentyten · 02/08/2014 16:53

Lots of cancer wisdom and support on the tamoxigang threads- plenty of wise and funny ones who will offer support and knowledge. Please keep posting to eagle against the light. Do you have Macmillan support? Your local hospice can help too- they are all about loving life and support. ThanksThanks

Report
UpUpAndAway123 · 17/08/2014 23:24

Hi op,
I know this post is a few weeks old but my family are in a similar situation.
My mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel (advanced and also in liver) cancer. We are seeing oncologist next week but told surgery not an option at this time.
My parents have been together since they were 14 and I have 4 sisters (the youngest is 14). We are struggling but trying to be positive. Feels like we are living a nightmare.
I have found the support on the beating bowel cancer website forum really useful-it may help you? Life is just so cruel sometimes but we need to make the most of every day x

Report
Ludoole · 17/08/2014 23:54

Upupàndaway so sorry to hear about your mum.
Its a horrible insidious disease.
I shall check out the forum you suggest, thankyou. Real life support seems impossible in our case so that may help.
Keep strong and im so sorry you are in this dark place with me Thanks

OP posts:
Report
tanyac · 21/08/2014 21:39

Hi there
Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk Ludoole. Our little family too has been sadly affected by cancer. My husband is currently fighting stage 3A renal cell carcinoma. We too have young kiddies :-( xx

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.