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Life-limiting illness

Can someone just say some nice things to me please…….

11 replies

1805 · 28/07/2014 00:17

DH (44) had prostate and lymph nodes removed yesterday in a 6hr operation. The cancer is terminal, but he had the op in order to extend his life as much as possible. I utterly trust our consultant.
I feel more scared now than ever before. DH is now officially "ill".
I worry about the consequences of this op and how this will effect him mentally in the coming months. It is all very very real now.
dc are 12 and 9. dc2 is AS.
It is horrible.

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1805 · 28/07/2014 00:18

Don't know how the &helli p;. got there!!!!

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frankyboop · 28/07/2014 01:02

Here
So sad to hear your news but remember that right now, he is still here, with you. My mum had a terminal illness and what I can remember is the laughs and jokes we had right up until the end.
You can only try to make the best out of things sometimes. Create lots of happy memories for you and your children.
Thinking of you and your family

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RonaldMcDonald · 28/07/2014 01:13

I'm so sorry to hear that, it is horrible
I know that the counsellors from Macmillan can do a really excellent job and it might be worthwhile getting in touch with them

I hope that he remains well for as long as humanly possible and that you all get to enjoy the rest of the time that you have together

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/07/2014 01:15

I'm very sorry OP.

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gingerroots · 28/07/2014 01:17

I think you just find your own way at some point and struggle through any way you can.my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer & died last year.we did so much as a family,made memories and just coped day to day.she left a husband and 2 young children i miss her so.it is very raw & my heart aches every day.if possible try and do everything you ever wanted to do as a family.it is a sad time but there can be some good as you squeeze as much in as possible & live life.xx

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ipsofacto73 · 28/07/2014 01:18

I'm thinking of you all too you are in my prayers. do you have good support ?

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SecretWitch · 28/07/2014 01:27

Oh My Dear, what a shock this must be for you all! I think perhaps you might need a bit of time to digest the news. I know from my own experience with something like this the feelings of grief and anger just came in waves. Can you speak with his physicians and find out what to expect in the coming days and months? Sometimes just having information and being able to make plans helps you feel a bit of control over a life altering experience..
My heart is going out to you. You and your dh must face a situation, people of your young age, just usually do not have to cope with. I am sending you hope for strength, clarity and peace. Please remember the MN community will be here for you..

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throckenholt · 28/07/2014 08:27

Time to call in favours from friends and family - don't be afraid to ask for help.

Try and make the best of the present, and also try and make some time to make sure the future is sorted as much as possible (check out financial issues etc while you still have some mental space - you don't want to have to sort out problems when things are bad).

Worth talking to schools for any help available, and probably Winston's Wish.

And don't be afraid to let the kids miss some school if it means some time to make good memories with their dad.

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1805 · 28/07/2014 10:51

Thank you everyone. It's tough.
We have cashed in two insurance policies which should see us ok for at least a year. Hopefully this op has given him extra years, but how fast the remaining cancer grows we have to wait and see. We have been told in no uncertain terms that it will kill him eventually though. Ugh.
Schools have been great, ds has a really important year coming up with scholarship exams in jan - March, but we can only do our best.
We have lots of people happy to have the kids which is nice. It does feel odd asking for so many favours, but it's ok. Has to be done.
Dh coming home from hosp today so it's quite busy today.
Thanks again.

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Thumbwitch · 29/07/2014 20:27

So glad your schools have been understanding and hope the op gives your DH lots of extra time.

Have you got support for yourself? Hope you have - and it might help you to have a look at the Penny Brohn cancer support centre in Bristol; they have some useful people there who can help with extra support for cancer patients and their families. None of it works against conventional medical treatments, it's all in conjunction with them, just adds in extra help.