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Life-limiting illness

DH is going to die

78 replies

oopsydaisymaisy · 10/10/2012 22:40

DH has cancer. We have been fighting it but today we decided: no more pain, the doctors have been telling us that there's no real hope, but we've tried to ignore it for so long. He will continue taking the drugs which will prolong his life, but chances are he'll have about five months to live. We're lucky- some people die in that amount of time from the diagnosis, and five months is a long time. In about three months, he will probably need extra help, but his quality of life won't suffer into around five months, when he will die- thankfully he will deteriorate quickly instead of having a painful non-life.

We don't know what to tell anyone, especially our kids, and I just need someone to hold my hand.

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TheOldestCat · 10/10/2012 22:41

Very sorry to hear this.

Am holding your hand.

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piratecat · 10/10/2012 22:42

take my hand. i am so sorry daisymaisy xx

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Hassled · 10/10/2012 22:43

I'm so sorry - I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

Winston's Wish are very good for helping children through bereavement, and I know some hospices offer counselling prior to the bereavement to help children understand what's going to happen - I'm sure your GP would know. You will be in my thoughts.

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Caladria · 10/10/2012 22:43

What TheOldestCat said. And that a good death is a rare and wonderful thing.

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Toughasoldboots · 10/10/2012 22:43

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Musomathsci · 10/10/2012 22:44

So sorry, awful for you both. How old are your kids? Do you have other family around that you can confide in?

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difficultpickle · 10/10/2012 22:44

So so sorry. How old are your dcs?

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VivaLeBeaver · 10/10/2012 22:44

I'm so sorry.

How old are the kids? How much do they know already?

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Asmywhimsytakesme · 10/10/2012 22:44

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onedev · 10/10/2012 22:44

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have no advice but would say to be kind to yourself. How old are your children?

I really don't know what to say - I am so sorry.

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magnolia74 · 10/10/2012 22:45

Here's my hand xxxx

I am losing my dad to cancer and its unbelievably hard Sad

Huge hugs to you and your family x

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LST · 10/10/2012 22:46

I'm so sorry op Sad xxx

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VBisme · 10/10/2012 22:47

So sorry, you must be devastatted. I hope you can make wonderful memories in these last months.

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IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/10/2012 22:48

Gosh, you both sound very brave.

I second the suggestion for Winstons Wish. A friends children have been supported very well by them. They will be able to offer you and your dc very good advice and support.

I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through this.

Xx

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oopsydaisymaisy · 10/10/2012 22:52

onedev they are 11 (twins), 7 and a 4yr old, who we only adopted eight months ago. This will be her first and last Christmas with DH and I wanted her to have so many happy memories of her new daddy. I just want to fill it with special things, and as it is happening, I'm just glad we can spend a Christmas and a proper celebration together- and our time together will include all the children's birthdays, so we have time for all the happiest memories ever. I want this to be the most special, wonderful time of my life, just us six, all together- even if it'll be the saddest.

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Jacksmania · 10/10/2012 22:53

Here's my hand too. I'm in a different time zone (GMT -8) so often post T odd hours if you ever need a middle-of-the-night hand to hold.

I am so, so sorry.

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Haveaheart · 10/10/2012 22:56

How awful for you and your children. My wonderful dad is terminally ill with cancer, it is unbearable. I am thinking of you.

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cupofteaplease · 10/10/2012 22:57

I'm so sorry. I don't have the right words, so I'll just offer my hand too. I'll keep your family in my prayers x

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bumpybecky · 10/10/2012 22:59

I'm so sorry :(

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PullyWoolOver · 10/10/2012 23:00

So very sorry to hear this OP x

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PiedWagtail · 10/10/2012 23:01

Take my hand too daisymaisy. So so sorry.

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TuftyFinch · 10/10/2012 23:03

Oopsydaisymaisy, I'm really sorry xx

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FarloWearsAGoldRibbon · 10/10/2012 23:03

So, so sorry Sad. Also want to recommend Winston's Wish. They do great books and memory boxes too that may help. If you have a Maggie's centre nearby they may also be able to provide counselling for you all. Thinking of you all.

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scarlettsmummy2 · 10/10/2012 23:05

So sorry x

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MrsRhettButler · 10/10/2012 23:06

I'm not good with words but couldn't not post :(

Wishing you and your family the best 5 months you can possibly have :)

I'm so sorry to hear this xx

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