My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

Can I change Ds's surnames if they have my maiden name??

23 replies

luckimum · 27/07/2014 13:39

Hi,

I have 3 Ds's, all have my maiden name as a surname. However Ive been married a year now and my 2 youngest are asking If they can have the same surname as me and my DH. The eldest has a child of his own now so has no interest in changing which is fine however the 2 younger ones are still in primary school and want to have the same surname as me and their step dad.

They have no contact with their biological father who is a total waste of space but he is on the Birth Certificates so Im assuming I would need his permission to change their names legally? But could I change their names for school without doing it legally??

OP posts:
Report
MuttonCadet · 27/07/2014 13:43

Yes you can tell school the name that you want them to be "known by" (I think).
But you would need XP permission to change them officially.

Report
FlossyMoo · 27/07/2014 13:51

You can change there name for school purposes only without the fathers however I would not advise this as it can make situations complicated in later life. For example the child's birth certificate as will their passport will still be in their legal name so school trips abroad could cause some issues. Also they will spend ex amount of year using their new name and been called by it yet when they come to get a bank account/job/join Uni they will have to give their legal name.

To change their name legally you would need the fathers consent if he is named on the birth certificate.

Report
nomoretether · 27/07/2014 13:57

The child has to be registered as their legal name with schools and doctors, you cannot use a "known by" name - www.childrenslegalcentre.com/userfiles/Changing%20a%20child's%20surname.pdf

Report
WandaFuca · 27/07/2014 15:06

This might of some help: www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html. I think it's more of a commercial site rather than an official one, but I'd think they would have to be factually correct about things.

If you wanted to get a court order, I'd guess a good time would be when the older of the two is approaching transfer to secondary school, as the court is more likely to take into account their views at that age than if they were very young, and then both children could enter secondary school with their new name.

This might also be useful: www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed117605, although most of it doesn't apply in your case, especially as the children don't have their bio-father's surname.

Report
prh47bridge · 27/07/2014 21:33

No, you cannot tell the school the name you want children to be known by. Any change of name requires the consent of everyone with PR or an appropriate court order. Schools are far more aware of issues around PR than used to be the case and should refuse to comply with any requests to use change the name they use for a child unless the necessary consent is in place.

Report
mom1983 · 28/07/2014 13:03

If you can prove that the father has had no input you can change it but it won't be 100% unless you have fathers permission. Well this is what I read, previously.

Report
mom1983 · 28/07/2014 13:03

No input in their lives *

Report
prh47bridge · 28/07/2014 13:28

If you can prove that the father has had no input you can change it

You need a court order to change without the father's consent even if he has had no input.

Report
gobbin · 29/07/2014 15:50

No, you cannot tell the school the name you want children to be known by

I don't think this is correct. We have a number of children in our (secondary) school whose surname and legal surname are different.

Report
ApplebyMennym · 29/07/2014 17:09

My son is "known by" a certain name at his school and it hasn't caused any problems. This name goes on his books/certificates. My mum has worked in schools for years and has known plenty of pupils who use a different name.

Report
prh47bridge · 29/07/2014 17:22

I don't think this is correct. We have a number of children in our (secondary) school whose surname and legal surname are different.

It is correct. You cannot legally change the name of a child without the consent of all those with PR. The courts take a dim view of people using "known as" names or similar in an attempt to subvert the law.

Guidance to schools from the DfE states, "Where the parents have divorced, schools should ensure that the surname by which a child is known should not be changed without written evidence (independent of the parent seeking to make the change), that consent has been given by the 'other parent' or by anyone else who has parental responsibility for the child." That has been the advice from the DfE since at least 2000. There has also been clear guidance from the courts that official bodies (which includes schools) should not allow a child to be known by a new name unless there is evidence of the required consent.

If your school is not following the guidance from the DfE it could face legal action from the non-resident parents concerned forcing them to use the correct surnames of the children concerned.

Report
nomoretether · 29/07/2014 17:22

I'm sure it happens but it isn't legal. Read the document I linked to upthread.

Report
caramelwaffle · 29/07/2014 17:34

"11. Applying for a court order to change your child's name without the consent of the other parent
If the other parent (with parental responsibility) will not consent to your child's name change or you wish to guarantee the acceptance of your child's Deed Poll, you should consider applying to your local family court for leave (permission) to change your child's name by Deed Poll without the other parent's consent. A court will give permission if it believes it will be in your child's best interests to allow the name change. The court will take into account the degree of commitment of the other parent to your child and the quality and frequency of the contact between the other parent and your child.

Your child's age is also a significant factor. If your child is under the age of five, it will be difficult to persuade a judge that it is in your child's best interests to permit a name change. Being so young, it is unlikely your child will be experiencing emotional or behavioural problems or is upset by having to use the absent parent's name. However, if your child is at least 11 years of age, it is much easier to obtain a court order because when a child reaches adolescence, judges take the child's views into account. If your child is 14 years of age or over, it is very easy to obtain a court order because your child's views will be paramount.

Please note, your chances of successfully obtaining a court order (for children of all ages) is greatly increased if you do not seek to remove the absent parent's surname from your child's surname (i.e. by double-barrelling your child's surname). For young children, a two-stage strategy should be considered i.e. initially apply to change to a double-barrelled surname and if successful, you can apply again when your child is 11 years of age to have the absent parent's name removed altogether.

If your child does not have the absent parent's surname, you should not have a problem at all obtaining a court order because there is no link to the absent parent that is being broken by allowing a surname change.

Applying for a court order is not difficult and it is possible to do it yourself if you live in England or Wales (Scotland is more complicated and legal advice is recommended). Do not be put off from doing what you think will be a daunting experience. Although there are court fees to pay, if you are on benefits, the fees are reduced or even waived. If you obtain a court order, you can then apply to us for your child's Deed Poll. The court order replaces the father's consent.

If the absent parent's whereabouts is not known, before applying for a court order, you should consider trying to change your child's name records by Deed Poll first. If you successfully change your child's name records and obtain a passport without a court order, which may happen, you will have saved yourself the time and expense of going to court. You will need a Deed Poll even if you obtain a court order so if your chances of successfully obtaining a court order are high, you might as well apply for a Deed Poll first and see what happens."

Report
prh47bridge · 29/07/2014 20:53

The last post is drawn from a commercial website that sells deed polls. The site tries hard to look official but it isn't.

The advice in the final paragraph is very poor. It is basically encouraging you to break the law. Even if you manage to persuade official bodies to accept the name change (they shouldn't but they make mistakes) it is still open to the absent parent to apply for a court order to enforce the original name. The courts have shown that they are willing to reverse a name change where it has been made without proper consent even when the child has been known by the new name for a long time. And you would be trying to defend an illegal name change. Far better to apply for a court order to allow the name change.

Report
caramelwaffle · 30/07/2014 13:50

Ah. Just had a quick browse.

Ignore what I posted previously.

Report
luckimum · 24/09/2014 01:06

Thanks for the replies everyone, I havent attempted to change their names yet, think I will wait a little longer and see If they are still keen to change in a while. I have a friend who changed her DDs names to known as but was unsure if you could still do that (she diid it some years ago). My children have never had their bio dads surname so didnt think it would be too much of a change to let them be known as mine and DHs surname (think they maybe feel a little excluded with having another name).
Im going to have a word with the school to see what they say but will wait to see if DSs bring it up again.Thanks again

OP posts:
Report
YoMrWhite · 24/09/2014 01:43

If u weren't married and kids were born pre 2008 then he doesn't have pr whether he's on the bc or not.

Report
Collaborate · 24/09/2014 06:55

That's wrong. Provided they were born after 1st December 2003 the father has PR if he's on the certificate. There's no reason to get this wrong, as a quick search on Google will confirm.

Report
izziewizzie · 24/09/2014 19:37

Go to court and try to change the names.
I have just done this myself for my dd (aged 6).
You need to pay for Mediation (ex didn't show) and the forms are a pain. It cost me £230 (I think) in court fees, plus £100 on mediation.
I had written to ex, who refused permission, despite not seeing dd in the last five years.
On the first court visit the Judge ordered mediation for ex ( he didn't show at court) and he didn't show at court.
Cafcass did a wishes and feelings report in my favour.
I went back to court last week, and now have my court order.
It is a faff, but it's the only way to change passports etc.

Report
Cabrinha · 28/09/2014 09:02

For a different angle, if your children want you all to have a family name, why not just have your new husband take their existing one?

Report
Greengrow · 28/09/2014 12:31

I like Cab's idea. Let's be feminist about this. Make the man take your name

Report
Cabrinha · 28/09/2014 14:48

I am a feminist and happy to called one. But I'm also just practical Smile
Why would you not just use your (and their) existing name for your new extended family?

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

YoMrWhite · 28/09/2014 17:55

Oops sorry I meant 2003 not 2008!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.