Concerns for 2 daughters while in mums care.

[JohnT]

Hi everyone. I am new to this website and looking for some help. I hope I have placed this correctly.
My ex wife and I have shared care of our daughters, 9 & 4.
My concerns are
My ex wife and her new husband (2013) have been involved in fights. I had a telephone call from my ex wifes neighbour/ girls childminder to ask me to come and collect the girls as there had been a fight between my ex wife and husband. When I arrived there were police present, an officer came to talk to me about girls and said I would take them. I never found out what the real details were but my ex wife came to collect children 2 days later, apologised and said it was over missing money but it had been dealt with. She chatted with the girls and told them it would never happen again.
Since then I have had talks with our eldest girl and she has said mum hits her husband when she is moody then they both fight with each other, hitting, pushing and there is a lot of shouting. She has said she gets upset and scared and our youngest girl cries all the time. Every week there will be other events that has happened between them.
I am concerned this is turning into Domestic Violence and that our girls are seeing this. I do not know what to do.
I have many people tell me to contact Children's Services while the girls are in my care and not to return the girls to the home but I am very unsure what to do.
Could anyone give me advice on the matter please?

[Goldmandra]

You need to get some proper legal advice. This is too important for you to be relying on messages from random people on the internet.

Please contact a solicitor tomorrow and ask what steps they recommend.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Absolutely legal advice. Remember your first duty is to protect your children's welfare.

[snowman1]

God, that sounds awful. I agree with others, get legal advice and advice from Children's services. Put your kids first as someone has to.
What does your gut feeling tell you, you know them well do you think the children are in immediate physical danger? Whilst you may feel that they are not in physical danger, do not underestimate how harmful being around this behaviour must be for them.
I wish you luck, OP.

[Selks]

You're right it is domestic violence, and social services take a dim view these days of children being exposed to it. It's very damaging. I'd suggest ringing the NSPCC for advice.

[Bessiebigpants]

Would you not be able to simply chat to your ex wife about your concerns.Tell her that you are worried and why.Give her a chance to explain her side and make her aware that what is going on in the home is not acceptable.She needs to be made aware of your concerns from you not by a social worker turning up it could damage your relationship for the future.Also check with school how the children have been and ask the neigbours what's going on.Then if you are still worried get legal advice.Do you trust your children's mother to put the children's needs first.Even if this potentially means losing her partner or her children.If you don t then you need to seriously consider applying for residency of the children.

[cestlavielife]

Chatting to your ex wife is unlikely to get results she has made excuses already..,
Get advice from ss. Police will have passed on the details anyway as matter of course. It it may be days or weeks before you get a phone call,
Take charge and control. Keep the girls with you.
If what they saying is true it is not an environment for them to be in.
their mum can see them without the husband eg met in park while the situation is assessed.