Desperate Situation - Advice urgently needed please!

[troubledmum1234]

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help me out, please. I know it's long and a bit complicated but I am at my wits end and just need someone who can tell me what I should do next. I do have a solicitor but she is on leave for 2 weeks and honestly, I can't afford to keep paying her so much each month. I will try and keep it brief...

My ex and I have two children together, we also own a property together. We separated 2 years ago and he moved out (his choice I was willing to negotiate who stayed there). I explained to him I could not pay the mortgage alone and he agreed to find somewhere else to live and if I could pay the mortgage for a few months we would sell the property.

6 months went by and I managed to keep up the mortgage payments alone, just! We decided on 50/50 shared residency of the children so they lived with me half the time and him half the time. He had moved into a property owned by his sister and was renting it off her. I asked him to agree to sell the jointly owned property as he had promised and he refused to discuss it as the property was (is) in negative equity and it was easier for him to ignore it and leave me dumped with it and all the responsibility :(

This has now been the case for almost a year. My solicitor has sent numerous letters all been ignored. I simply couldn't afford the mortgage and moved out into a cheap rented place. The property has now been unoccupied for 6 months and arrears amounting on the mortgage of course.

I was advised by my solicitor to apply for an order of sale. The application has been made and he has been served the papers. I have asked that the Court order I can sell the property, the arrears and negative equity being split between us and we could get the mortgage provider to put the separate debts into small loans for each of us to arrange to pay back. Then we are completely financially separate and that's surely best for us all. My application also requests he pays all my solicitors and court costs due to his total lack on response for so long - he has also refused mediation about the subject so I also have an FM1 form which I am told will likely persuade a Court to order he pays my costs. This has all cost me an absolute fortune that I just can't afford.

Yesterday he had the damn audacity to text me out of the blue saying he is moving back into the currently empty jointly owned property. He has said he would like me to sign an agreement for the mortgage to be extended to lower the monthly payments for him as his sister is now selling the house he lives in an otherwise he will be homeless.

The man is a complete financial mess, he has caused me all sorts of other financial problems during the relationship and since separation, he has so much debt and unpaid fines etc there are bailiffs regularly turning up at his sisters house (he told me this). I just want to cut all ties (financially speaking) and be free of this huge debt with him. I do not want to be on a mortgage for a property he is living in.

I have said no and he has now said he is moving back in there next week and I can't stop him. He has also said he will use the "Children's Act" as once he is in there I won't be able to force the sale as it will be the children's home and therefore to force the sale would be detrimental to them and make them homeless. I have a court date set for November (huge wait) for the hearing regarding the order of sale, but by then he will have been living there for months.

Does anyone know where I stand? Will I be able to still get the order for sale if he has moved in there, given that he has refused for so long to discuss and has shown no interest in the property for such a long time. The children live with us both equally, we have a shared residency order that is 50/50, so they have two homes, not just one and they are both primary school age - if that makes any difference to the protection he will get from the Children's Act under these circumstances.

Is there any way I can stop/delay him moving in there until the Court Hearing in November when the fate of the property is decided? Will the Court see what he is now attempting to do to try and financially hold me to the property after putting me through all this stress and worry for so long. I cannot face the emotional and financial burden/stress of being financially tied to him in this way.

He works full time and earns a decent wage, so he could afford to rent privately if he wanted, just like I do.

Hopefully someone can help?

[kittycat68]

The fact that he moved out in the first place will stand you in good stead at court. I think it unlikely a court would not order the property to be sold under what you have stated in the thread.
In the mean time under no circumstances sign anything!!!!
Can you afford to get the locks chnged? whilst he does have the right to break in. is he likely too?

[toosoppyforwords]

I'm not a lawyer so hopefully one will be along shortly who can advise you from a point of law.

I'm just wondering whether he can afford to take on the current house and mortgage on his own? and if so can you actually let him keep it but get your name taken off the mortgage and deeds so it becomes solely his responsbility?
As it stands as there is negative equity and arrears associated with it, when it sells you gain nothing (financially) anyway. It seems you just want to be financially independent from him (which is understandable) so would this be an option rather to try to force sale and incur estate agents fees and further solicitor fees trying to fight for that. The issue is to just get you off the responsibility for it isn;t it? Would the mortgage company agree to him taking it over 100% based on his income (although from credit rating perspective he does not sound great!)

[troubledmum1234]

Thank you both for your responses.

Since I posted things have moved on a little. He has now said he absolutely cannot afford the mortgage as it is but is moving in there anyway. He has said I can either sign to extend the mortgage to lower the repayments for him or it will be repossessed and I get landed with a bloody huge debt. Blackmail / Financial manipulations much! :( Kitty - I hope when I go to court in November that they will see it for what it is, he has ignored the property and all responsibility for it for nearly 2 years and does this at the last minute.

I have offered for him to live there and take the mortgage from me, or to have his parents help him buy me out. Both declined. He doesn't earn anywhere near enough to have the mortgage alone (it was a push when we got it even with both our wages taken into account).

I had the property valued again last Friday at it appears the market has turned in my favour, it should sell for around 5k less than the mortgage and arrears put together, leaving us both with just a small debt.

My other thought is whether I can stop him moving there by applying to family court for a prohibited steps order to stop him moving into the property in the short term, due to it being potentially very detrimental for the children. This is the home the children lived in with us both of us, then just me when he moved out, then we moved out, now he wants to move them back in 2 years later - into a home that is at the last stages of repossession, that he cannot afford the mortgage for and that has a court hearing set for November for an order of sale to be sold. Either way, it's likely to only be their home for a few months, this is going to be upsetting and confusing for them. I know it's a long shot, but I've heard some crazy reasons people have been granted Prohibited Steps Orders for - does anyone know if this would wash?

I've changed the locks ages ago after he moved out to ensure he didn't just let himself back in, but he has copy of the deeds so can easily get a locksmith to change them again so he has access. he's told me he has booked a week off work in 2 weeks time to move back in. Damn!

[kittycat68]

if the propertys empty he can move back in TBH dont think its likely a court would stop him. it will cost you for prohibited steps order and i dont think its likely you would get it prior to the hearing in november. You could ask the court for an earlier hearing due to the ex now wanting to move back in, and this is worth a try, you just need to phone the court an explain the circumstances. I thinkhes probably doing it in order to be rehoused by the council!!!
Whilst this will be confusing and upsetting for the children, its his choice to have contact there and theres not alot you can do about it.
do you have a solicitor OP or are you self representing? I would offer to let him have the house saying you are happy to sign the house over to him if he takes on the outstanding ddebt on the property. If he says no but moves back a court will take a dim view of his actions.

[troubledmum1234]

Thank you for taking the time to care and reply KittyCat :)

I have offered for him to buy me out, but his credit rating is shot to bits, he doesn't earn enough and his parents won't help him as he is financially unreliable.

I do have a solicitor, thankfully. I spoke to her last week and she is calling me tomorrow so we can discuss what to do. I know I can't stop him moving back in, whilst empty he has as much right as I do.

I'll update tomorrow hopefully x