I have received a contact order hearing letter from the courts applied for by ex, about our children, for just over a month away.
Its been over a year and a half since he last saw them, through their choice and mine. The was dv involved towards them and myself. I made the mistake of not reporting it at the time, I have DC as witnesses and one of my parents.
He moved across the UK with mistress who has a child. This child was a sexual abuse victim until a few years back - mistresses husband was the abuser.
DCs Father made a few requests for contact, but they were at times that were not good for us (health reasons) and children were not returning the wish for contact.
Now I understand he most likely will get contact. I am not keen on the idea of contact centres though, which is the most I am hoping he will get to start with. Can I make any "demands" as to where the contact is and who is around? Could I say once every other weekend in a park or a day out etc ,once they have gotten used to the idea, and have someone I trust there with them, and not his family or mistress? (I have my good reasons for no paternal family to be involved). Surely he won't be granted overnight stays after so long apart?
Will the children's views be taken into account at all? I have read its over the age of ten which mine are not. But they know how they feel. Not once in the time apart have they asked for their Father. I have asked them if they wish to see him (I am a Daddies girl and could not imagine life without my Dad) and they say no, they give very justified reasons - i.e. incidents of DV. I had hoped that by the time, if the time came, they would have forgotten these times, but they haven't.
I have tried to explain in as few (comforting) words as possible that they will most likely have to see him, to give them time to adjust to the idea, and they were crying and screaming. Took me ages to calm my eldest one down poor thing, and my other DC is very clingy since and won't go to playgroup and has started following me around - to the loo etc.
I don't know what to do! I haven't even been in a Court room before, I don't know how any of this works!
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Contact order help
15 replies
Bugslife13 · 09/07/2013 12:23
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