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my world has fallen apart

(261 Posts)
Emz8369 Wed 08-May-13 19:15:56

I had to call the police last night and report my dad as my daughter told her aunty that he has been abusing her, i just feel so lost right now and don't know what to do, think, feel or say.

Emz8369 Wed 08-May-13 20:30:41

Thanks *Branleuse

Emz8369 Wed 08-May-13 20:31:33

Yeah it is cjel Thanks

nilbyname Wed 08-May-13 20:34:34

Absolute turmoil for you all.

Keep talking.

everlong Wed 08-May-13 20:35:18

I'm so sorry. You were so brave to phone the police. It was the right decision.

We are here for you.

inneedofrain Wed 08-May-13 20:46:27

I don´t have any advice, but just wanted to say you did 1000% the right thing and I am very sorry you are having to go through.

The police will be very sympathetic, and sadly will be experienced in dealing this. Hopefully they will be able to point you in the direction of help and support both for your DD and for you.

So sorry you and your DD are going through this

Hugs from a total stranger on the internet arnt worth much but I would like to give you and your DD one anyway.

Stay strong you are a great mum

Emz8369 Wed 08-May-13 22:06:47

Omg thanks everyone i know you are all strangers but your kind words help a lot

everlong Wed 08-May-13 22:13:29

Mumsnet is a place to call on in times like this OP. People will listen, offer support and just hold your hand. flowers

CheeryCherry Wed 08-May-13 22:31:55

So glad you have your sister. So sorry for you but how brave was your daughter? Well done to her for speaking out. Hope you all get the support you need and deserve.flowers

StoicButStressed Wed 08-May-13 22:39:15

You have done both the right and an extraordinary difficult thing to do. I genuinely cannot comprehend people who do NOT listen to their child - put bluntly, children do not know the language of abuse - but that does not mean it cannot have taken an immense amount of courage to do what you have done.

And what you have done IS RIGHT. As is your brave daughter to whom I send the hugest of love and hugs. Whilst this is all just shit, her not telling or you not reporting would have ended in a situation a million times worse (other threads will confirmsad that simple fact). You are amazing.

Hand holdingthanks

Goldchilled7up Wed 08-May-13 22:39:17

What a horrible situation. Well done for supporting your daughter. Does you mother know?

byah Wed 08-May-13 23:17:06

Hi Emz8369.. A nightmare for you I am sure, but you and dd's aunty have done so well to believe your dd and have the courage to go to the police. It is easier in some ways not to "tell" and stay quiet and just make sure your dd is all right ..... but so many people do that and the abuse continues maybe with other children in that way .... SO spend a little time telling yourself how good and brave you have been and all the time knowing you nor dd have done anything wrong .. The police CP team are so well trained they will give you loads of really good help and advice I am sure . Big hig.

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 00:19:37

Yes my mother knows

AdoraBell Thu 09-May-13 00:38:57

I'm 5 hours behind you, so if you need To have a chat/rant and it's late I'll be here. Will check in again after my DDs are settled.

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 07:23:40

Thanks again AdoraBell, i hate my life right now, i can't stop crying and can't sleep i also feel sick 24/7 and cant eat, right now i just feel like ending it all but i know i cant do that because quite frankly my daughter has enough on her plate without me being a selfish bitch and leaving her behind to deal with it all. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 11:58:16

Well the slimy bastard has text my sister this morning asking if she is ok, he also said he is using an old phone as the police took his, he then text me sister asking if i was ok?

cjel Thu 09-May-13 12:14:22

What an idiot. do you feel up to tellingpolice he has another phone? I hope they feel strong enough not to get into conversations with him.

AdoraBell Thu 09-May-13 12:15:43

You are possibly in shock, everything you are feeling is normal. And of course you are right about DD having too much on her plate already To deal with losing you. But I would hazard a guess that is anger you are feeling, and quite justified anger. Re the slimy bastard asking your sister if she and you are okay, that's creating distance and make people think - oh look, he's concerned about his family, obviously not a monster then- but that won't wash, will it? Do you know how your sister responded.

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 12:39:09

Yeah cjel am gonna tell them and my sister didnt reply to his messages

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 12:42:45

Hey AdoraBell i am so proud of my daughter right now leaving her aint an option, she called me from the school earlier to let me know how her day is going and ask me if i am ok, my sister didnt respond to his messages

cjel Thu 09-May-13 12:54:00

you are doing so amazing. lean on anyone who offers!! Your dd may be feeling that she has now caused your family distress so thats why she wants to check you are ok. glad they will have no contact with him. How you doing today?

nilbyname Thu 09-May-13 12:55:51

Oh god, what a terrible thing for him to do. At least you can report that number and block it.

He is an awful man who did the most terrible things.

Stay strong. YOur DD sounds lovely xx

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 13:33:15

Hey cjel i was good until he got in touch

Emz8369 Thu 09-May-13 13:34:06

Yeah nilbyname she is

Isabeller Thu 09-May-13 13:36:51

Another {{hug}} from a stranger x

cjel Thu 09-May-13 13:36:54

oh dear. i suppose it jolts you back to the reality of it doesn't it. At least if he gets no response he should stop trying. can you do any thing as a distraction for a bit? crappy tv? seeing a mate?xx

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