CSA query

[Bertiebassett]

Hi can anyone help with this?

I've just separated from H. I am resident parent for DS but he spends 6 nights out of every 14 with H.

CSA have just arranged payments but H is disputing what this includes.

In effect, he wants me to give him money back....to pay for food on the days that DS is with him. This includes food that he prepares and school dinners.

Is this right? I thought that if he was looking after DS for 3 days a week he would feed him on those days. I've never had to deal with anything like this before so I feel very naive

[Alwayscheerful]

As far as i understand Your exDH gets a reduction = 3/7ths of the total csa calculation he should pay, based on his salary. The reduction is to cover his costs whilst your child is under his roof.

[Bertiebassett]

Thanks Always! You've worded it very well!

TBH it all started when I asked XH for a contribution towards school dinners. XH is suggesting that the CSA payments covers all the school dinners...even on the days that he is the 'responsible parent' IYSWIM...

[Collaborate]

He's right about that.

[Alwayscheerful]

If the dinners are paid weekly, then I would say you are responsible for payment, if you give DS the money on a daily basis, you could just give him money on the days he is with you but It could be seen as petty. I suppose technically you are the parent with care, therefore ultimately your are responsible. If your son's Father wishes to be so petty I would just pay and choose my battles wisely.

[Bertiebassett]

Is he really Collaborate?!

So all the school dinner money should come from the CSA payment?

What about if DS has packed lunches instead of school dinners? (He's been asking to have them so it is a possibility)... Would I have to provide packed lunches on the 5 school days a fortnight that I don't have him overnight and take him to school the next day?

If I have to do that...well I can see XH asking me to provide breakfast and supper as well...

[Alwayscheerful]

If the dinners are paid weekly, then I would say you are responsible for payment, if you give DS the money on a daily basis, you could just give him money on the days he is with you but It could be seen as petty. I suppose technically you are the parent with care, therefore ultimately your are responsible. If your son's Father wishes to be so petty I would just pay and choose my battles wisely.

[Bertiebassett]

Always thanks for the advice.

TBH I'm happy to pay for all the school dinners (indeed I have been so far)...but I was concerned about his demands for money for other food. Despite earning far more than me XH is reluctant to pay out anything at all and is trying to claim back what he can...

[Alwayscheerful]

I was about to comment that packed lunches might be the answer but I see you have already thought of that solution. Somehow I wonder if the 3 nights a week agreed were a way of your EXh reducing his CsA contribution, it certainly worked the other way for us, my DH paid a generous voluntary maintenance payment for several years, we met and Exw then involved the CSA (she alsomannounced to the children that were going to the Dominican Republic on holiday) the csa assessed at 50% of his original payment. The holiday did not materialise but access was reduced without discussion from 3 nights to 2 nights.

Perhaps you could point out that shared care is about sharing the workload and the expenses which comes with having children.

[Collaborate]

What alwayscheerful says. In my kids school dinner money is paid via parent pay. Daily dinner money would be different, as would packed lunches. But it's one of the things you receive CM for. It doesn't absolve you from making your own contribution, and you possibly get CB and tax credits too. They are all for the child.