Court and contact order and lies

[Colly121976]

Hi. I have been with my partner for 7 months and living together for a couple of months. I have got 2 kids and they get on really great with my partner. He has 3 kids and I've still not met them as their mum refuses to let me. I have been on the receiving end of constant harrassment from her since I started going out with my partner. She has tried to split us up numerous times but failed. Anyway she kept pulling contact for my partner so he took it to court. We kept saying that once he had the contact order we would introduce me to the kids who are begging to meet me.

Anyway we were in court last week and my partner got contact of 2 weekends out of 3 which is brilliant. But I am not allowed to meet the kids. His ex has made allegations that I am an alcoholic, on anti depressants, attempted suicide on numerous occassions, have mental health issues and have a personality disorder. I have none of these and have never been on anti depressants and I don't drink lol!! Anyway the court have now adjourned the case until April and I have to file a medical letter from my gp and also have police and safeguarding checks. I work with kids and have a full enhanced crb check so I'm not worried that one bit. The thing is that I was off work from sep 12 till dec 12 with stress due to her harrassment and this only stopped in dec because I issued an harrassment notice on her. Do you think this will go against me??? At the moment my partner has to move to his parents 2 weekends out of 3 fri to mon to have the kids and this is awkward for him as 4 of them are sharing a 9ft square bedroom with 1 single bed and 2 foam matteresses. He has 2 girls 9 and 5 and a lad 12 who all sleep in the same room. If this gets adjurned or I am refused contact at the next hearing this will be a disaster as I am a nice person with no problems apart from my partner has a jealous ex.

Any advice would be great.

[purpleapples14]

What did her harassment entail?

The four month period should not be a problem. There is an obvious cause and solution too explaining this period. I wouldn't worry. You can always ask GP to slip.a.line in saying you're no longer suffering from stress and it was due bc of the harassment.

The squashed room needs addressing sooner than April. I would suggest your partner ask his solicitor to re-list the matter asap if you have all your paperwork together and ready to submit to court (fiile&serve as they say).

[Colly121976]

The harrassment was via Facebook and she was using 6 different accounts including her daughters to get at me. Things being said were how my partner didn't love me and that she would split us up and loads of other horrible things. she even went through my friends and harassed all my family telling them to tell me that my partner didn't love me and wanted to be with her. Also was the fact that she was saying I would never meet the kids and she would gouge my eyes out before I saw them. She then came near my house (we live in a different town) and treatened to damage my house so much so I had a critical incident marker put on my phone line.

My partner is representing himself so doesn't have a solicitor as we both work and don't get legal aid unlike her.

My gp is putting in the letter that I am no longer suffering from stress and back to normal.

[Colly121976]

Also his kids again have been begging to meet me today. I feel so sorry for them, they are so excited to meet me but we can't cos of her lies

[purpleapples14]

Goodness! Whatever you do Colly print and attach all those abusive and threatening material to your statements because the nature and volume will speak for itself! Though question your replies if any. If friend's replied that has no bearing on you because that is a matter beyond your control.

Your partner's self rep has succeeded in securing contact so it sounds like you're on the right track. Also, just post queries on here and I will try to answer best as I can. I've seen others reply so they'll defo add replies hopefully.

Also, detail everything. Don't leave room for doubt and courts always appreciate full details from the start.

[purpleapples14]

Sorry critical marker - highlight all this too! Goodness me. You've pulled through it all that's the important bit. If you're not due to file a statement then ask GP to attach in his notes, pass copies to the CAFCASS officer through your partner.

[purpleapples14]

Has the CAFCASS officer noted the children's wishes to meet with you and informed the court? The court needs to be made aware of this too (& not solely your request). This is important as the older two are at ages where the court will consider their feelings strongly.

[stepmother19]

hi i agree with purple apples 14 print the harassment emails and bring them to court they may not take it into consideration as they are fake accounts but you can ask for the ip address to be accessed which may help you. we went through a similar situation with my step sons bm lying but they saw through ithopefully they will do the same for you. your gp will help you and maybe if you no any anyone that can write you a character reference like your boss to show you are not the person she says you are. good luck and hope for the best x

[Colly121976]

I will print everything off, as for a character reference, I work for a consultant and will get her to do this for me.

[Colly121976]

Thanks for your replies too

[noBSplease]

Wouldn't worry about time off at all, if anything sounds like it will most prob go against her, not you. Am going through court with ex at the mo, have had 4 hearings over the last few years, and my impression so far is that the courts and judges are very used to sniffing out what's genuine and what isn't, they must hear lies all the time. Am representing myself but have found a decent solicitor and pay her for advice on an hourly basis as I feel I need it - has cost a few hundred quid but has totally allayed my fears and given me the confidence that I'm doing the right thing and understand the process... Money well spent for me, maybe worth a thought. Good luck with it all, hope it goes well x