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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

help needed for adopting step son

18 replies

stepmother19 · 22/02/2013 20:28

hi i have a stepson who is 3 and i really want to adopt him i have been his stepmother for two years and have been his consistent mother figure. over a year a go my partner won full custody of my boy and the mother lost all of her parental responsibility as he was neglected and some what physically abused by his mother. does anybody know how long the process can be to adopt and if we will still need the biological mothers consent. any help will be appreciated

OP posts:

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purpleapples14 · 22/02/2013 22:40

Stepmother 19 your local authority is a good place to start. Give them a quick call or look online for their info packs bc they by way of their social services dept usually conduct the assessments to declare whether or not they believe you are suitable for adoption.

stepmother19 · 23/02/2013 00:26

thank you purple apple 14, i have been to cab but they couldn't really help and said the only way was to go through solicitors which would cost an arm and a leg but will try those options internet doesn't have much to go on as it is very fague. x

OP posts:

ChocHobNob · 23/02/2013 09:41

If your SS's Mother has had her PR taken away and your husband has PR, then he can award you step parent Parental Responsibility without having to use solicitors or go to court.

Gaining PR may be better than adoption.

ChocHobNob · 23/02/2013 09:42

The forms to organise step parent PR are available to download online.

purpleapples14 · 23/02/2013 23:48

Chocs idea is very good.

www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild

Have a browse through the above which also says that the local authority must first be informed (specifically three months before any application for an adoption order is made).

Let me know if you need a sol, as I will ask around for you to get some pro bono for you as I know many sols doing odd cases pro bono to give back etc. But you must assess & be comfortable with whomever you go with regardless of pro bono element. But for now, aside from Chocs suggestion, local authority is the way fwd.

floatyjosmum · 24/02/2013 20:56

You don't need a solicitor.

I very much doubt they removed her pr - only an adoption order would do this.

You need to contact your local social services and they will complete the assessment. Sometimes it is done by a social worker in the area team in other places by the adoption team

They will speak to mum to gain her views

Flojobunny · 24/02/2013 21:02

I think u need PR first and to see how that goes for a few more years. 2 years isn't really a very long time.

purpleapples14 · 24/02/2013 22:19

That's what I believed initially no sol required just local authority involvement but the CAB advice threw me. It's really good to hear. Hope it works out with the PR or adoption.

floatyjosmum · 24/02/2013 22:26

You don't need pr to adopt however the court needs to be satisfied it is in the child's best interests as it cuts all legal ties with the other parent and their family - lose contact rights, inheritance rights etc

If his mum is having regular contact it may be that it is thought it's in his best interests for her to remain involved also if her family are playing a part in his life this could be a deciding factor.

As you're not married and haven't been together particularly long you need to think about what would happen if things didn't work - Csa and residence being the main issues

stepmother19 · 25/02/2013 03:26

thank you all so much it is very much appreciated... the only reason i went to cab is because they can sometimes help with legal matters ( to a degree) but mostly this this for people who have broken the law. all pr has been removed from biological mother which the court ordered from all the neglect and the caff cass report. I do understand that we have only been together for two years but we have a very stable relationship and want the adoption or pr to happen whilst he is still young. we have tryed contact supervised with the mother but she only turned up once and hasn't seen him with consent for over a year and a.half. and with the csa she only pays £5 pw which we wont miss but that may hinder us in some way as she is paying for him even though it is a very small amount. I will look into all the options and will get the ball rolling. once again thank you all so much for the advice. as i am on my phone cannot sermon the name of the person that said about solicitors and them helping but please inbox me x

OP posts:

floatyjosmum · 25/02/2013 22:30

Tbh I'm confused - parents who lose their children through CYPS and are placed for adoption don't lose pr until the adoption order is made.

If she has no pr because of the abuse why is she having contact - even if she doesn't attend.

You need to speak to your local social services. You notify them and then three months later you can make the application - I don't see any need to have a solicitor.

ChocHobNob · 26/02/2013 18:16

In some instances, parents have PR taken away by the courts.

If I were your partner I would be looking into giving you PR first and foremost.

Adoption can wait. It's only been a year without any contact so adoption may not be awarded.

With PR you will gain the same responsibilities as your partner.

floatyjosmum · 26/02/2013 21:10

www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2086/Children_Act_Guidance.pdf

Check point 2.7

ChocHobNob · 26/02/2013 22:41

That is only relevant to "gaining PR" not to losing it. A Judge can revoke a parent's PR in certain circumstances.

floatyjosmum · 26/02/2013 23:11

So it doesn't say the only way a mother loses pr is through an adoption order or through the embryology act???

I would like to point out I deal with this for my job

ChocHobNob · 26/02/2013 23:46

It quite clearly states all over the Internet that a Judge can remove Parental Responsibility in exceptional circumstances and it has happened before for reasons other than adoption and the embryology act. I'm on my phone so cannot link.

stepmother19 · 27/02/2013 23:35

thank you for the back up chochobnob nice to be backed up that pr not just lost through adoption and for the others that have said this unbelievable how many times i have had to say bm has no pr some people just wont believe me i wouldn't make it up. the ball is now rolling and the only reason we let the bm have supervised contact once was because she said that she wanted to change and prove she could become a good mum with help and my lb was very young at the time but now he doesn't know who she is and we would only ever allow her to have contact if she got a lawyer and proved that she is not in drugs but this is highly unlikely x

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 28/02/2013 10:38

You can only get PR for a stepchild if you are married. Technically you are not a step parent at the moment.

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